Ibrahim*(32) was more than a friend to Deji*(31), he was a brother. They met as university students, bonded over their love for football, and spent years navigating adulthood together.

For Sunken Ships, Deji shares how that brotherhood slowly fell apart after he fell for a woman Ibrahim once wanted. 

Let鈥檚 start at the beginning. 

I met Ibrahim at a football viewing centre at our university. We kept running into each other during the 2017 Premier League season. One day, we got talking and found out we were both die-hard Manchester United supporters. That was how our friendship started. 

What were the early days of your friendship like?

Fantastic. Ibrahim quickly became my closest friend. We talked every day and shared everything: family issues, money problems, relationships, and career plans. He鈥檚 a year older than me and always seemed to have life figured out. I looked up to him like an older brother. Whenever something important happened in my life, he was the first person I called. 

 I can never forget an event that happened during my final year in 2018.  I lost a chunk of my school fees to gambling, and got desperate as the payment deadline got closer.  Eventually, I opened up to Ibrahim. He scolded me but also helped me raise the money, and made me promise to quit gambling. That moment deepened our bond even more.

Sounds nice.

Yes, I鈥檒l always be grateful to him for that. It made me feel like I could count on him no matter what. 

Even after school, we stayed close. In 2021, when I wanted to leave my family home, Ibrahim suggested we rent a two-bedroom flat together in a building his grandmother owned. The rent was cheaper, so it made sense.

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Right. And what was living together like?

At first, it was great. We split chores, paid bills on time and spent most evenings watching football together. Ibrahim also loved hosting game nights, so there was always something happening. It felt like living with a brother. 

The only area where we really differed was dating.

What do you mean?

Ibrahim believed money was the quickest way to a woman’s heart. He鈥檚 a data analyst and earns well, so he never hesitated to spend on the women he liked. I’m the opposite. I don’t earn as much as he does, so I rely more on conversation and personality. 

Right. Did this difference ever become a problem?

We joked about our different approaches, but it was never a serious issue.

Oh. 

Then in 2024, Ibrahim told me about a woman he’d met online.  He really liked her, but from what he told me, she wasn’t very receptive.

At the time, I didn’t think it was anything serious. He talked about her often and seemed disappointed that things weren’t progressing. Eventually, he stopped mentioning her, so I assumed he鈥檇 moved on. 

Then, in early 2025, I met the same woman through a mutual friend, and we started talking. Once I realised who she was, I knew I needed to talk to Ibrahim before pursuing anything.

How did that conversation go?

I told him I liked her and asked if he’d be uncomfortable with me pursuing a relationship with her since things between them hadn’t worked out. He said there was no problem, and I completely believed him.

If he’d told me he wasn’t comfortable, I would’ve backed off, but he seemed calm about it and gave his blessings.

So what changed after you started dating the woman in question??

Everything.  He became distant. We stopped doing things together, not the game nights or the football matches. Whenever I tried to make conversation, he’d shut it down with one-word responses.

Must have been tough.

The worst part was how he treated my girlfriend whenever she visited. He never greeted her, never spoke to her and acted like she wasn’t there.

She asked me a few times if she’d offended Ibrahim, but I kept telling her not to worry.

Did you try talking to him about it?

I did, but he insisted everything was fine and claimed he was busy with work. Still, his behaviour stayed the same. Then, in September 2025, he finally came clean.

He told me our living arrangement wasn鈥檛 working anymore and said I needed to move out. At first, I thought he was joking, but once I realised he wasn鈥檛, the shock and hurt hit me.

I was confused by the whole situation because I’d specifically asked for his blessing before pursuing the babe.

Right. Did you remind him?

Of course. That鈥檚 when he admitted that he only agreed because he didn’t want to seem selfish. That was the first honest thing he鈥檇 said about the situation.

But I continued looking for a new place anyway because he didn鈥檛 rescind his decision. He still wanted me out. The whole period between finding a new place and still sharing the apartment with him was miserable. We went days without speaking. It felt like I was living with a stranger. 

Eventually, I found a place in April 2026. It felt sad to leave because I鈥檇 spent years building that relationship. But it is what it is. I鈥檓 still with my babe, and the relationship is thriving.

Do you ever wonder if the relationship was worth losing Ibrahim over?

Sometimes. I don鈥檛 regret my relationship. I just wish I’d found a way to keep both. 

Do you think you’d reconcile if Ibrahim reached out?

It wouldn鈥檛 be easy, but I’d still try. A part of me hopes we’ll speak again someday.

At the end of this story, you鈥檒l get to answer one question: Did she fuck up or not?

This is Bola鈥檚 dilemma, as told to Betty:

My husband, Biodun, and I met at church in 2010. He was handsome, charming and a solid Christian, so when he asked me to be his girlfriend, I happily said yes. 

The relationship was beautiful, and in 2012, we got married. Biodun taught at a secondary school while I ran a provision store. We didn鈥檛 have much, but we lived comfortably within our means. 

Everything changed in 2017, shortly after we had our second child.  A building contractor from the church offered Biodun a job in Abuja. The pay was generous, and he鈥檇 also earn commissions. We agreed it was too soon to move the whole family, so he moved alone while I stayed back with the kids.

The first year was amazing. The extra income transformed our lives. I moved to a bigger shop, hired a live-in nanny and even bought a car. Biodun also bought a car and rented a spacious 2-bedroom apartment in Abuja. Every month, he鈥檇 fly to Ibadan, spend about a week with us, then return to work. We were happy. 

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The problems started in 2019.

I suggested joining Biodun in Abuja, but he refused. He said the city wasn鈥檛 safe, and he didn鈥檛 want the kids growing up there. I wasn鈥檛 convinced, but I accepted his reason. 

Then COVID happened. Biodun could no longer make his monthly visits because of the lockdown. The nanny also quit and moved out. Suddenly, I was stuck at home alone with two kids. He called often, but phone calls couldn鈥檛 replace having my husband around.

After the lockdown was lifted in May, I waited for Biodun to visit, but he didn鈥檛. After two months, I asked him when he planned to come home. That鈥檚 when the excuses started. 

He was really busy because business had kicked off again. He had an important event he couldn鈥檛 miss because of  networking. The excuses kept coming, and I grew more upset.

I even reported him to his mother. She promised he鈥檇 come home, but nothing changed. I kept telling him how much the children and I missed him, how lonely I was becoming and how I needed him around. He鈥檇 promise to visit soon, but he never did.

I stayed patient for a whole year. 

When he told me he wasn鈥檛 going to make it to Ibadan for Christmas in 2022, I simply said, 鈥淣o problem.鈥�  After the holidays, I packed my things, took my children and moved in with my married sister. 

When my mother found out, she was livid. She called Biodun, who bombarded me with calls, demanding that I move back into the house with the kids. I refused. 

I told him I was tired of the loneliness. If he was going to make me live like a single mother, I at least wanted another adult in the house to talk to at the end of the day. I told him I wasn鈥檛 coming back unless he agreed to relocate us to Abuja or return to Ibadan himself. 

By then, I鈥檇 also convinced myself he had another woman in Abuja. I was determined to make it hard for him to abandon our family. 

He accused me of standing in the way of our progress, and I accused him of trying to avoid his responsibilities. We couldn鈥檛 see eye to eye. It took both our families’ intervention before he finally agreed to let us join him in Abuja.

But now I wonder if it was worth it. We moved here in 2023, yet Biodun still feels distant. 

He leaves early every day, comes home late and barely speaks to me beyond what鈥檚 necessary. He鈥檚 affectionate with the kids, but it鈥檚 like he鈥檚 shut me out completely. I鈥檝e tried different ways to bridge the gap between us. I even suggested moving back to Ibadan, but he refused. 

Now, I鈥檓 in Abuja with my husband, but I feel just as lonely as before.

I鈥檝e been asking myself if I messed up by insisting we move here. I was only trying to protect my home.

See what other people are saying about this article online.

READ ALSO: Sunken Ships: My Brother and I Stopped Speaking. I Lost Him to the APC 

We asked men who earn less than their partners how it affects their relationships. Here鈥檚 what they had to say.

鈥淚t took me a while to stop feeling insecure鈥� 鈥� David*, 31

When my girlfriend got a promotion two years ago, her salary became almost double mine overnight. I鈥檇 be lying if I said it didn鈥檛 bother me. I grew up believing a man should always be the main provider, so I felt like I was failing.

The funny thing is, she has only tried to make me feel comfortable about it. The insecurity was entirely mine. It took months of conversations and self-reflection for me to realise that my worth wasn鈥檛 tied to my paycheck. These days, I鈥檓 genuinely proud of her achievements. If anything, her success motivates me to pursue my own career goals more aggressively.

罢丑别听聽is returning on August 22, 2026, in Lagos! Come learn from finance experts and industry leaders, and partake in unfiltered conversations about building wealth and diversifying your income stream in a country like Nigeria.聽Real stories, expert advice you can actually use, and a community ready to build wealth together.聽.

鈥淚 worry about the future more than the present鈥� 鈥� Kunle*, 38

My girlfriend earns more than I do, and right now things are okay. We split expenses according to what each of us can afford, and nobody is struggling. My concern is what happens later.

What if we get married and have children? What if her career continues growing while mine remains stagnant? I sometimes worry that the gap will become so large that resentment will creep in, even if neither of us intentionally means it. 

She allows me to speak to her about these fears openly, which helps, but I鈥檇 be dishonest if I said they don鈥檛 cross my mind often.

鈥淚t鈥檚 honestly a relief. I love it鈥� 鈥� Ayo*, 33

Before my current relationship, I dated people who expected me to pay for absolutely everything. Even when I was struggling financially, I felt pressured to keep up appearances because 鈥淚鈥檓 the man.鈥�

My current girlfriend earns far more than I do,  and she doesn鈥檛 see money as a measure of authority.  She willingly chips in more than I do. We support each other and contribute based on what we can afford. I鈥檝e never felt so relieved. There鈥檚 less pressure, fewer financial arguments and more room for us to enjoy. She鈥檚 also really smart with money, and I鈥檝e been learning a lot from her about saving and investing smarter. This is the healthiest relationship I鈥檝e ever had.

鈥淢y wife helped me salvage my bruised ego鈥� 鈥� Dimeji*, 54

I supported my wife when she started her provisions business 23 years ago. Over time, the business grew beyond anything either of us had imagined, and she began earning several times what I made.

Financially, it was great for the family. We moved into a better house, paid school fees comfortably and took trips abroad. But emotionally, I struggled. I鈥檇 spent most of my life believing my role was to provide, so I felt lost when I was no longer the top earner. God bless my wife for remaining submissive and homely. She never made me feel bad for not earning as much. She鈥檇 even tell people who asked that I make more money. She鈥檚 really the best.

鈥淚t鈥檚 not a problem because I also earn well鈥� 鈥� Jonathan*, 28

Some may think that my wife earning more would have a negative effect on my self-esteem or masculinity, but that isn鈥檛 the case at all. I earn about 拢5800 after tax as a senior developer, and she earns 拢6300 as the head of operations in her company, so we鈥檙e very comfortable. Genuinely, I don鈥檛 feel the financial imbalance in any way. We save together and pay bills together.

 My salary is enough for anything we need, and hers can too. So imagine us working as a team, it鈥檚 just been amazing. If I can give a piece of advice to any guy in my position, I鈥檇 say, 鈥淵ou lucky bastard, don鈥檛 let that beautiful lady go鈥�.

鈥淚鈥檓 scared people think I鈥檓 with her for money鈥� 鈥� Femi*, 27

My girlfriend works in tech as a data analyst and earns more than thrice what I make. It鈥檚 never been an issue between us, but I鈥檓 very aware of how it looks from the outside.

Whenever she pays for something expensive or takes us on a trip, I worry that people assume I鈥檓 taking advantage of her. Even some of my friends make comments like, 鈥淵ou鈥檝e hit the jackpot,鈥� as if I鈥檓 dating her for financial security. It鈥檚 frustrating because I genuinely love her, and I鈥檓 working hard to build my own business.

The situation has forced me to become more confident in myself. I can鈥檛 control what people think, but I know the woman I love, and she鈥檇 never think so lowly of me. As long as we continue to respect each other, outside opinions don鈥檛 matter to me.

Married Nigerians Get Honest About Their First Years Together

Growing up, Morenikeji* (29) adored her older brother, Ayo* (33). He was smart, responsible and constantly held up as the example to follow. 

Then, in December 2025, one conversation changed everything.

For Sunken Ships, she shares how a political disagreement shattered the respect she鈥檇 spent a lifetime building with her brother, and why he now feels like a stranger.

What was your relationship with your brother like growing up?

It was great. He鈥檚 the oldest, so my younger brother and I always looked up to him. 

He was the best of us academically, and my parents constantly used him as the standard we should aspire to. Beyond being my older brother, I genuinely liked him as a person.

What made you two so close? 

We鈥檙e similar and share a love for music, movies and the arts. There was nothing I couldn鈥檛 talk to him about. We’d discuss work, relationships, family issues and our plans for the future. If I were ever in trouble, he would be the first person I鈥檇 reach out to for help. Ayo was one of the few people whose opinion I genuinely valued. 

Did you ever disagree with him?

Of course. We fought as most siblings do, but it was never serious. 

But our most recent disagreement is the worst we鈥檝e ever had. And honestly, I don鈥檛 know if we鈥檒l recover from it.

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What happened?

We fell out over our political differences. I know it sounds strange that something like that could upturn the bond we share as siblings, but that鈥檚 just how I feel.

 I didn鈥檛 vote in the 2023 elections because I simply didn鈥檛 care.

Since then, I鈥檝e learnt my lessons. Nigeria has shown me proper shege, and I鈥檝e been forced to become more politically conscious. I鈥檝e encouraged the people around me to care, too, and I鈥檝e reached a point where most of them share my concerns and frustrations.

I鈥檇 naturally assumed my brother would follow suit. I couldn鈥檛 have been more wrong.  

What do you mean?

My biggest gripe is his support of the APC. After I developed an interest in politics, I aligned myself with a party that actually cares about effecting change. And I encouraged my family and friends to support the same party. 

But not my brother. Not only was he hell-bent on keeping his support for a party that鈥檚 gotten us to our current state, but he also took glee in defending some of the worst tribalist takes imaginable. 

Doesn’t he have the right to his own political choice, or did you at least ask his reasons?

I did. We were both home for Christmas in December 2025, so I pulled him aside to talk.

I couldn鈥檛 reconcile the brother I鈥檇 admired all my life with someone willing to support people I believe are dishonest. Then he explained himself.  He said he didn鈥檛 want to antagonise powerful people he hoped to connect with someday.

What did you think of his reason?

The explanation made absolutely no sense, and it completely changed how I saw him. I鈥檇 always held him in high regard, yet, in that moment, I realised he was willing to overlook everything the party represents as long as he benefited. 

I lost all respect for him that day.

Yikes. Did you express your disappointment, though?

In a way, I did. I tried to change his mind. I supported my argument against the party with examples of just how bad things have gotten in the country. But the more we argued, the more things escalated. 

I tagged him disappointing and greedy. He called me naive and foolish, especially for thinking my 鈥榖ig English鈥� could change reality. 

And that was when I landed the final blow. I regret my actions, but it was necessary.

What did you do?

He鈥檚 always been insecure about his financial situation. He has a job, but the economy hasn鈥檛 been kind to him, just like the rest of us. So I told him that his continued support for the party wouldn鈥檛 guarantee his success in life or make him rich. I saw the hurt spread across his face immediately. Part of me wishes I hadn鈥檛 said those words.  

Did you try to apologise?

Not in that moment, I didn鈥檛 feel the need to. But every time I replay the scenario, I wish I could cut that part out.

And how have things been since then?

We鈥檝e barely spoken. I avoid him because I don鈥檛 trust myself not to say something worse.

I even unfollowed him everywhere because seeing him defend that party online only makes me angrier. Our relationship has changed for the worse.

What does the rest of your family think of this?

They all insist I鈥檓 overreacting. My parents especially keep saying politics shouldn鈥檛 come between family. But that鈥檚 not how I see it. 

To me, this isn鈥檛 just about politics. It鈥檚 about values. I鈥檓 scared of what my brother would do if he ever had access to real power.  

Has he reached out to you since your fight?

No. And I haven鈥檛 reached out either. Right now, the distance between us is for the best.

 I don鈥檛 see a future where things return to how they used to be, unless there鈥檚 a fundamental change. I鈥檓 too disappointed by what he stands for.  

What鈥檚 the hardest part about this fight with your brother?

Missing him. Ayo isn鈥檛 just my brother; we used to be friends. I wish we were still on the same page.

We asked Nigerians across generations about the first income they ever made and what they did with it.

鈥淚 made my first income selling plantains鈥� 鈥� Gani*, 64, M

鈥淭he first time I ever made money was from selling plantains in the early 1970s. I grew up in a polygamous family, and my father didn鈥檛 have enough money to send all of us to school. He agreed to pay for the education of only the first child of each of his four wives.

I wanted my younger brother to go to school too, so I approached my father for help. He gave me two plantain trees from his farm and said I could sell whatever I harvested and keep the money. The harvest was good that year, and after selling off the plantains, I made 鈧�40. It was enough to pay his fees with some money left over to buy myself a new pair of sandals.鈥�

鈥淚 was a sales girl in my grandma鈥檚 shop鈥� 鈥� Fayo*, 33, F

鈥淚 got my first salary in 2007, working at my grandmother鈥檚 shop during my long vacation. I had just finished SS 1, and my mother wanted to keep me busy.

So she sent me to spend the holiday with my grandma, who put me to work in her shop as a salesgirl. I learned a lot during those two months I spent working there.

The best part was that, at the end of the holiday, my grandma paid me 鈧�10,000 in crisp new notes. Believe me, I was the biggest girl when I resumed school for the new session.鈥�

鈥淚 earned my first money editing videos for YouTubers鈥� 鈥� David*, 29, M

鈥淒uring the COVID lockdown, I taught myself video editing from some YouTube tutorials and started applying for gigs on Upwork.

The first gig I landed, a company hired me to edit a few videos and paid me 鈧�80,000.

The first thing I bought was a Wi-Fi device for better internet because I was tired of struggling with downloads and uploads. Then, I used the rest for personal enjoyment.

I got more clients after that and eventually turned editing into my side hustle.鈥�

罢丑别听聽is returning on August 22, 2026, in Lagos! Come learn from finance experts and industry leaders, and partake in unfiltered conversations about building wealth and diversifying your income stream in a country like Nigeria.聽Real stories, expert advice you can actually use, and a community ready to build wealth together.聽.

鈥淢y first salary disappeared into transport fare鈥� 鈥� Tolu*, 24, (F)

鈥淢y first-ever salary came from a six-week internship while I was in university. I got paid 鈧�40,000.

At first, I was happy, but the money disappeared from my account before I knew it. I鈥檓 sure I spent most of it on food and transportation expenses.

It wasn鈥檛 the exciting payday story I鈥檇 imagined, but it taught me my first lesson about budgeting and working life.鈥�

鈥淚 used my first salary to buy my mum a blender鈥� 鈥� Temi*, 30, (F)

鈥淢y first proper job was as a teaching assistant after my A-levels in 2014. My salary was 鈧�54,500. I had never held that much money in my life at 17.

My mum thought I was wasting my time doing that job, so as soon as I got paid, I stopped by a supermarket on the way home and bought her a brand new blender. I鈥檒l never forget how happy and surprised she was.

She still talks about that gift today, which is funny because I thought it was such a small thing. I just wanted to prove that I was doing a real job.鈥�

鈥淢y love for football got me a job鈥� 鈥� Emeka*, 31, M

鈥淲hile waiting for admission into university, I worked at a football viewing centre in my neighbourhood. I spent so much time watching matches there that the owner gave me a job arranging the chairs, collecting payment and closing up the shop.

My first month’s pay was 鈧�15,000. I felt on top of the world. I spent almost all of it taking my friends out for food because I wanted everyone to know I was finally earning money.鈥�

鈥淢y first salary bought my younger sister鈥檚 textbooks鈥� 鈥� Esther*, 42, (F)

鈥淚 got a teaching job at a private primary school after finishing polytechnic. The pay was only 鈧�50,000 a month, but I was excited because it was a steady income.

When I received my first salary, I didn’t spend it on myself. My youngest sister was preparing for her final secondary school exams and needed textbooks. The pressure was a lot on my parents, and I decided to help out. Buying them for her felt better than anything I could have bought for myself.鈥�

鈥淎 cybercaf茅 gave me my first salary鈥� 鈥� Kelvin*, 39, M

鈥淎fter WAEC in 2005, I got a job at a cybercaf茅. I was very excited because I had always been interested in tech.

My first salary was 鈧�10,000. I gave half to my mum and used the rest to buy a small Nokia phone. Owning that phone made me feel like a serious adult, even though I was still sharing a room with my younger brother.鈥�

READ ALSO: 7 Nigerian Men Share the Cost of Being the 鈥淢an of the House鈥�

At first, there was some worry that the rain would dampen the energy at the event, but there was no stopping the vibe when great DJs, talented chefs, amazing music experience booths and games delighted attendees. 

罢丑别听聽is returning on August 22, 2026, in Lagos! Come learn from finance experts and industry leaders, and partake in unfiltered conversations about building wealth and diversifying your income stream in a country like Nigeria.聽Real stories, expert advice you can actually use, and a community ready to build wealth together.聽.

The event kicked off at noon with Nollywood actor Tobi Bakre and co-host, Kaylah Oniwo engaging the crowd. There were so many activities for people of all ages to enjoy that there was no time to be bored.

The Knorr Jollof Fest wouldn鈥檛 be the talk of the town without the surprise reveal of its latest seasoning product offering: The Knorr Smokey Party Jollof Seasoning, which helps bring that signature smoky, party jollof scent and flavour to every pot, no matter the occasion. Not only did the brand unveil this product, but they also shared free samples with attendees.

Also, there were several vendors serving up different foods and flavours from snacks to full meals and desserts. On another, there were silent disco booths where attendees could enjoy Adekunle Gold鈥檚 genre-elevating album, Fuji. There was also a booth just like his album cover, where fans could recreate their own photos with the authentic Fuji aesthetic. On every side of the event, there were different Jollof sampling stations serving up all kinds of mouth-watering Jollof like Asun Jollof, Village Jollof, Suya Jollof and more.

The kiddies weren鈥檛 left out. They had a whole section with comfortable seating and interactive games for families, especially those with kids to enjoy. Media personality Taymesan held a live recording with different personalities at the event and engaged the audience with riveting gist about cooking and all things Jollof. There were also several masterclasses by renowned Nigerian Chefs who taught the secrets to their jollof recipes, including Chef Amaka, Chef Dee, and Chef Fregz.

Just when everyone thought the night couldn鈥檛 get better, Adekunle Gold himself turned up to give an amazing performance of some of the songs on his hit album, Fuji. Even though the Knorr Jollof Fest 2026 shook up Lagos in the best way, Knorr isn鈥檛 stopping the Jollof enjoyment bus. The brand is also taking the celebration to Abuja and Port-Harcourt to share this amazing experience with more Nigerians.

For these women, what started as intense affection quickly became unsettling. They share the moments they realised their partners’ behaviour had crossed into obsession, and what it took to walk away. 

鈥淗e threatened to k*ll himself in front of my father鈥檚 house鈥� 鈥� Bukola*, 44

My first boyfriend in uni was a mistake. We met at a canteen I visited regularly at school. He seemed sweet and wrote terrible poetry, so I fell for him.  I loved how openly affectionate he was. Unlike my friends鈥� boyfriends, he wasn鈥檛 ashamed of showing me off, and that made me feel special. I also became famous as the lover girl in my hostel.

One day, I had to leave school in Kwara for an impromptu visit to my family home in Ibadan. Before leaving, I asked my roommates to tell him I鈥檇 be back in a few days when he came looking for me. 

Two days later, I woke up to loud wailing outside our house. My father went to check and found my boyfriend rolling around in the dirt.

He was crying and threatening to end his life. He said he had no reason to live if I didn鈥檛 follow him back to school. My father had to involve the police.

That incident got me into serious trouble at home, so I ended the relationship. Unfortunately, he didn鈥檛 accept the breakup well.  I had to involve my course advisor before he left me alone. I think he had a mental issue.

罢丑别听聽is returning on August 22, 2026, in Lagos! Come learn from finance experts and industry leaders, and partake in unfiltered conversations about building wealth and diversifying your income stream in a country like Nigeria.聽Real stories, expert advice you can actually use, and a community ready to build wealth together.聽.

鈥淗e called me 105 times in 3 hours鈥� 鈥� Blessing*, 35

At the beginning of our relationship, my ex鈥檚 constant attention was flattering. He constantly told me how much he missed me and acted as if I were the most important person in his world. 

The problem was that he expected me to be available all the time.

If I responded late, he鈥檇 bombard me with messages. He said it was because he cared and wanted to hear my voice. After a while, his antics got exhausting.

My last straw came six months into our relationship. I鈥檇 gone to the cinema with my friends and told him I鈥檇 be away from my phone for a while.

When the movie ended, I鈥檇 gotten over 100 missed calls and  90 messages. I thought there was an emergency. I rushed to call him back, panicking, and all he asked was, “How was the movie?”

Over time, I grew anxious whenever he called. I ended things shortly afterwards and blocked him everywhere.

鈥淗e followed me all the way to university鈥� 鈥� Timilehin*, 30

When I was in SS2, I dated a boy from a different school. Like most secondary school relationships, we didn鈥檛 last long. After two months, I got bored and broke up. 

What I didn鈥檛 know was that the decision would lead to almost two years of lies and stalking. After the breakup, I became friends with a biracial boy on Facebook. We chatted often, shared photos and talked about our plans for university. For more than a year, he was one of my closest online friends.

When I got admission into university, I excitedly shared the news with him. That鈥檚 when he revealed he was attending the same school, and we agreed to meet at one of the parks once we resumed. Imagine my shock when I arrived at the school park and realised it was my ex.

He鈥檇 created a fake profile to prove we still had a connection. I felt sick. I told him I felt betrayed and warned him to never contact me again. Unfortunately, blocking him online didn鈥檛 stop me from seeing him around campus.

鈥淗e rented a flat on my street after we broke up鈥� 鈥� Aisha*, 37

My ex struggled to accept the word “no”. If I needed space after an argument, he’d keep calling until I answered. Every boundary I set was just a suggestion to him.

When I finally broke up with him, I thought the worst was over.  I was wrong. A month later, I saw him walking down my street. At first, I assumed he was visiting someone, but I kept 鈥渞unning into him鈥� in the neighbourhood.

Eventually, I found out he’d rented an apartment less than five minutes from my house. When I confronted him, he claimed it was a coincidence, but I didn鈥檛 believe him. 

I only felt safe again after I moved and refused to tell him where I lived.

鈥淗e took several photos of me while I was sleeping鈥� 鈥� Ifeoluwa*, 31

A few years back, I dated an older guy in his late 30s. He seemed level-headed and cool. I used to joke that I wanted a man who was obsessed with me, but that relationship taught me better.

From the beginning, he said he wanted to marry me because of my beauty. I didn鈥檛 take it seriously; I assumed he was making his intentions for our future clear. But once we became official, I realised he was obsessed with my looks. 

He badgered me for selfies, wanted video calls all the time and complimented my looks during every conversation. It was suffocating.

My final straw was finding my photos on his phone. I was asleep in all the pictures. When I confronted him, he said he was documenting my beauty and looked at the pictures whenever we were apart.

It was so unsettling. What if he wanted to use me for rituals or something?

Sunken Ships: My Older Sister鈥檚 Boyfriend Is Ruining Our Relationship

Joy* (28) used to be best friends with her older sister, Moje* (30), until Moje started dating Fola*. 

For Sunken Ships, Joy opens up about watching her sister shrink under a controlling relationship, how her attempt at an intervention backfired, and the distance that has followed since.

What was growing up with your sister like?

Moje and I are two years apart, and growing up, she was my best friend and role model. I admired her so much, and I wanted to be exactly like her.

What was your relationship like as adults?

We remained close. We talked almost every day. If anything happened, she was the first person I’d call. I used to spend weekends at her place and we always made time to hang out with our mutual friends. Now I second-guess whether to even text her. 

罢丑别听聽is returning on August 22, 2026, in Lagos! Come learn from finance experts and industry leaders, and partake in unfiltered conversations about building wealth and diversifying your income stream in a country like Nigeria.聽Real stories, expert advice you can actually use, and a community ready to build wealth together.聽.

What changed?

She started dating a guy named Fola* in 2024. She met him through a mutual friend, and at first, she wouldn’t stop talking about him. I met him a few times after they got together, and he seemed sweet. He called her often and showered her with affection. I remember telling my sister he seemed serious about her.

When did things start to feel off?

At first, it was very small things. She started spending a lot of time at his place, and we didn鈥檛 get to see each other often. Then it became her not wanting to go out with her friends unless she checked with him first. I thought maybe she was just being a considerate girlfriend, but it kept escalating, and I started to worry.

Can you give me an example?

In April 2025, our cousin was getting married in Ondo. Moje and I had bought our outfits and were supposed to travel together. Two days before, she called to say she wasn’t coming anymore. When I asked why, she said Fola felt the wedding 鈥渨asn’t necessary for her to attend鈥�. I thought it was ridiculous.

Did you say anything to her at the time?

No, I only made a joke about him hiding her from her family. She laughed it off and said I was exaggerating. But it kept happening. She missed countless hangouts with her other friends and me. We鈥檇 be expecting her, and she鈥檇 cancel at the last minute. The worst part was that every excuse she gave had to do with Fola or an opinion he had about the outing.

Did anything else make you feel concerned?

Yes. The longer the relationship went on, the more her decisions revolved around whether Fola would like them and what he thought. She even changed the way she dressed because Fola preferred a different look.

What finally pushed you to talk to her about it?

I was at her place one weekend, and we were gisting about her relationship. Then she confided in me that she and Fola had a big argument. When she described their argument, she mentioned that he had yelled at her and punched a wall before storming out, which I saw as a huge red flag. She tried to downplay it as a one-off, and I decided to talk to her about all my concerns.

How did that conversation go?

Honestly, I was a bit harsh at first. I told her bluntly that her relationship was getting too controlling and that I didn’t like how obsessed she’d become with Fola鈥檚 approval. I reminded her of how she used to travel and go out whenever she wanted. I told her that Fola might be manipulating her.

How did she react?

She got defensive immediately. She said I didn’t understand their relationship, and I was only seeing the bad parts and not the good ones. She said that every relationship has its issues. Then it turned into her accusing me of never liking anyone she dated. She also called me jealous because I’m single, and that one stung.

Ah. What happened after that?

I talked about it with our cousin, who advised me to apologise to her because she鈥檚 the older sibling. So two days later, I called to apologise.

Did she accept your apology?

No, she told me to stay out of her business if I couldn’t support her relationship. Since then, our calls have gone from every other day to maybe once every couple of weeks. Even those calls feel stiff, like we’re walking on eggshells around each other.

Has anyone in your family noticed the rift between you?

My mum has goten suspicious, but doesn’t know the full story. I haven’t told her about Fola鈥檚 fight with Moje because it’s not really my place to share, and I think she would feel betrayed if she found out I told our mum behind her back.聽

Where do things stand between you right now?

We’re cordial but distant. She doesn鈥檛 tell me any details about her relationship with Fola anymore, and she comes to even fewer hangouts. The few times we see each other, I try to hide my emotions when Fola’s name pops up. I hate that he has come between us. Sometimes I catch myself wishing they’d break up, and then I feel guilty because she’s my sister and I want her to be happy. 

If you could say something to her, what would it be?

That I’m not trying to control who she loves, I just want her to see how she鈥檚 being isolated by this person. I just want my sister back.

Do you think you and Moje will regain your previous closeness?

I hope so. I miss my sister, and I feel so helpless. It feels like she鈥檚 disappearing into this relationship, and I don鈥檛 know how to reach her. I can only pray she knows that I鈥檒l always have her best interests at heart.

But that鈥檚 not usually the case.

From unemployed Nigerians wondering when their next income opportunity will come, to high earners carrying the weight of family expectations and future planning, financial anxiety shows up differently at every income level. We asked Nigerians across different income brackets about their biggest worry. Here鈥檚 what they said.

鈧�40k/month 鈥� Anita*, Unemployed, 26, F

I lost my job last year and had to move back home. Since then, the only income I have is from the odd quick gig and, thankfully, the generosity of my older siblings, who send me 鈧�20k each per month to sort out my data and small personal needs. My biggest worry is that I won鈥檛 be able to stand on my own. The cost of food, electricity and other amenities is so high that I鈥檓 worried that even if I find a job, I won鈥檛 be able to afford to live on my own. 

鈧�180k/month 鈥� Tobi*, Customer Service Rep, 28, M

My biggest worry is one unexpected expense wiping me out completely. If I get sick, or if my phone spoils, I have no cushion. The last time my screen broke, I had to borrow to fix it, and it took months to pay it off. 

Most months, I’m just trying to make sure my salary stretches to the next payday. Saving? I鈥檝e never heard of it. I keep hoping to find a better paying job.

罢丑别听聽is returning on August 22, 2026, in Lagos! Come learn from finance experts and industry leaders, and partake in unfiltered conversations about building wealth and diversifying your income stream in a country like Nigeria.聽Real stories, expert advice you can actually use, and a community ready to build wealth together.聽.

鈧�450k/month 鈥� Opeyemi*, Executive Assistant, 27, F

I earn enough to survive, but I don鈥檛 feel secure. I can afford to sort out my rent, transportation and feeding, but that takes most of my income. Also, price inflation makes it feel like I’m moving backwards. 

I worry that I’m getting older without making meaningful progress toward major goals like buying a car, owning property or even starting a business. But I see how people complain about how difficult it is to find a job so I鈥檓 to scared to leave this one. At least I can eat.

鈧�750k/month 鈥� Chinelo*, Marketer, 31

People assume life gets easier once you start earning more, but my expenses just kept rising. 

I’m helping my younger siblings through school, contributing to family bills and trying to save up to japa. 

My biggest worry right now is losing my job. They laid off a few people some months ago, and my mind hasn鈥檛 been settled since then. I have so many responsibilities, and losing this job right now would scatter a lot if things I鈥檝e been carefully putting in place.

鈧�1.4M/month 鈥� Kelvin*, Software Developer, 28, M

My primary concern is stagnation. I worked really hard to get to where I am, but it鈥檚 as if the economy is trying to outrun my salary. 

I worry about whether my current income will be enough in five years, given how quickly costs are rising. Soon I鈥檒l start a family, is this the salary I鈥檒l use to pay school fees?

I think constantly about investing, building additional income streams and making sure I’m not relying on a single employer. 

鈧�2M/month 鈥� Fola*, Business Owner, 39, F

I spend most of my time worrying about my business. I鈥檓 more focused on the future than the present. 

I worry about being able to pay my staff, about whether people are stealing from the business, about how the profit projections look, about investor feedback, the list goes on and on. Meanwhile, I still have personal responsibilities that need my attention, like my family and their needs. It can be a lot to handle for one person. 

鈧�150k/month 鈥� Tife*, Receptionist, 26, F

I worry about getting stuck. I’m grateful to have a job, but I don’t know how people are supposed to build a future on this kind of income. Rent keeps increasing, prices keep rising, and every year that passes makes me anxious that I’m not making enough progress.

#NairaLife: The 25-Year-Old Business Owner Who鈥檚 Trying to Recover From Past Financial Mistakes

He breaks down why it started, how it鈥檚 continued into adulthood, and why he believes he鈥檚 simply taking what was always his. 

This is Biodun鈥檚 explanation as told to Betty:

The first time I stole from my father, I was 15 years old. He鈥檇 told me to wash one of his suits as punishment for something I鈥檇 done. While emptying the pockets,, I found six crisp 鈧�500. 

I hesitated for a second. My strict Christian mum had spent years beating discipline and good behaviour into me. But the moment  I remembered who I was stealing from, all that home training disappeared. 

I spent the money over the next few weeks at the game centre on my way home from school. I didn鈥檛 turn into a tuber of yam like my mother always threatened whenever I embraced a life of sin. More importantly, I didn鈥檛 feel guilty. It just felt like I was taking my share of my father’s 鈥榥ational cake鈥�. 

Let me explain.

To many people, my father is probably the most generous man alive. At church, his nickname is Animashaun, meaning “he who isn鈥檛 selfish.” If he鈥檚 not paying someone鈥檚 school fees, he鈥檚 donating food to charity or giving hefty tips for the smallest service. 

People celebrate him so much for his generosity that you鈥檇 never guess getting money out of him at home was like trying to get milk from a stone.

Our family’s house was massive, but we still went days without food. Whenever my parents fought, my dad punished everyone by withholding his generosity. That included food, allowances, school fees, and grocery money. He used whatever he controlled to punish or embarrass whoever had upset him. Most times, that person was my mum. She spent years trying to stay on his good side because she knew we鈥檇 all suffer if she didn鈥檛.

It鈥檚 hard to explain to outsiders because they can鈥檛 imagine someone as generous as my dad having a mean streak. But he does. 

I can鈥檛 even begin to recount all the ways he weaponised his position as the provider against us. On paper, we looked well off, but in reality, we didn鈥檛 have much because he made sure of that.

Watching him grill us over every kobo while he gave freely to outsiders made me resent him. That resentment built up in me for years until I found the perfect outlet.

Once I realised he hadn鈥檛 noticed the 鈧�3k I’d taken from his pocket, I started helping myself to any loose change he left around the house. Eventually, I upgraded. I鈥檇 buy my monthly data plan from his phone whenever he was distracted or asleep, then delete the alert before he saw it. 

I considered stopping when I got into university. Then I watched him pay private university fees for other people鈥檚 children while I struggled through a federal uni on a tiny allowance. Any thoughts of stopping disappeared completely. 

Throughout university, I made him pay for an uncountable number of imaginary handouts, textbooks and special fees.

After graduation, I didn鈥檛 stop. If anything, I got better at it. For instance, in 2021, I pulled off the biggest stunt on him.

罢丑别听聽is returning on August 22, 2026, in Lagos! Come learn from finance experts and industry leaders, and partake in unfiltered conversations about building wealth and diversifying your income stream in a country like Nigeria.聽Real stories, expert advice you can actually use, and a community ready to build wealth together.聽.

I convinced him to invest in crypto trading and let me manage everything, then I pocketed the money. A few months later, I told him a market crash had wiped everything out. He chewed me out for 鈥渓osing his money鈥�, but that didn鈥檛 faze me at all.

Honestly, I don鈥檛 even need the money; I just do it as my way of hurting him back. 

I don鈥檛 do it as often these days because of the country’s economic situation, but every time I call home and hear about another philanthropic act, I start thinking about how to lighten his pockets again.

Besides, I don鈥檛 trust him to leave us anything when he鈥檚 gone. He鈥檒l probably give it all away, so people can keep calling him the most generous man alive. 

I鈥檓 just enjoying what I can while he鈥檚 still here.

READ ALSO: I Reunited My Niece With Her Biological Dad After My Sister Cut Him Off