It’s hard to talk about Nollywood now without talking about the TV Shows we grew up watching.

So what we’re going to do is sit back and imagine our favourite shows were coming back on TV.

It’s 7:30pm on Sunday evening, you’re running to your sitting room to watch Fuji House of Commotion. Because you want to laugh yourself to sleep.

Chief Zebrudaya! Please where are you? All we ask for are a few more episodes. Please do something sir.

Have you ever heard a story that made you cry and laugh at the same time? Tales by Moonlight did this to you.

If you didn’t know NTA for anything, you had to know them for Village Headmaster.

Funke Akindele’s first major opportunity at TV has to make it on this list. Remember Bisi in the legendary “I need to know?” Yup.

Let’s talk about the most relatable family ever. Family Circle. Before twitter, this family that had Nobert Young and Ronnie Dikko as mummy and daddy was too iconic.

All your favourite Nigerian actors were in this series. Looking sharp as ever. Checkmate is really the classic of all classics.

If I have been saying TV series all along, forgive me. Because Behind the Cloud can’t be called a TV series, it was a soap opera.

If you ever decide to stop by in the big city or at least go for an excursion there.

Let’s that with the most famous place in the whole of Abuja’s history. Zuma Rock. Please just do yourself a favour and climb with supervision.

Whether you’re Muslim, Christian or even an Atheist, if you see the National Mosque and ignore its beauty…

Just after you pass by the mosque, you can’t tell me you wouldn’t be tempted to stop by at the National Christian Centre.

I don’t even know how to start talking about the Millenial Park. I mean, there are parks, and there are parks. This is one of those parks.

If you are on this trip with your kids or a little sibling, you have to do them the favour of taking them to the National Children’s Park and Zoo.

While the kids are playing with animals, you can just quickly say hi to Buhari at the presidential villa. That’s if he hasn’t travelled.

You wouldn’t want to go to Abuja and come back empty handed so you should probably stop by at the Abuja Art’s and Crafts Village.

Now, if you want you and your kids to have a taste of Disneyland in Nigeria. Please just direct yourself to Wonderland Abuja.

If you leave Abuja without taking a trip down to Usuma Dam then can you even say you went to Abuja?

No mall in Nigeria comes close to Jabi Lake Mall.

Our Abuja people, did we leave anywhere out? Share! Share! Share!

Okay okay, since you’re a scholar and you know Nigeria’s history, let me put you to a test.

I’m going to state some facts about Nigeria’s former presidents.

Nnamdi Azikiwe was Nigeria’s first head of state.

What you don’t know though, is that a lot of people considered him ‘not human’. Like a spirit. Why?

She was grateful and asked what he wanted in return, he said he wanted wisdom and power.

Major General Agunyi Ironsi was the next Head of State. He ruled from January 1966 to July 1966.

A man named Nwafor Orinzu, was acting president while Azikiwe was absent. Ironsi then forced all the members of that governance to resign at gun point.

General Ironsi was killed after having a short taste of power and General Yakubu Gowon took over. He promised he would hand power over to the civilian rule after a while, then he changed his mind.

About a year later, his overthrow was announced. Just like that. Gowon didn’t fight back, he carried his load and went to the United Kingdom.

Up next is Murtala Mohammed who is till date one of the most famous presidents in Nigeria’s history. Not just because he’s on the 20 naira note and the airport in Lagos is named after him, but because he was a genuinely good man.

We could write 5 books about Olusegun Obasanjo’s history. His significance in Nigeria’s economic growth at the time just can’t be ignored. But we’d get to that some other time.

Some years later, Obasanjo became president again. So we don’t gonna go back to this, just write it in the corner of your note.

Shehu Shagari became Head of State after Obasanjo stepped down. Before going into power, this man was a serious academician.

Next person on this list is our current president, Muhammadu Buhari, who was also head of state in 1983.

General Ibrahim Babangida, who took over in 1985, was one hell of a man.

I’m going to talk very shortly on this next person because his reign was just as short. Ernest Shonekan.

After Uncle Ernest, Sani Abacha became president. And this man showed no mercy, but you already knew that. What you probably didn’t know is this.

General Abdulsalami Abubakar became president from 1998-1999 after Abacha’s mysterious death. Remember Babangida? he and Abubakar grew up in the same household.

Remember I said Obasanjo became president again? Yeah, this was the time. From 1999 up until 2007.

From 2007 till 2010, Umar Musa Yar’adua was Nigeria’s president. I just want to say he was the first president to admit that there were some flaws during the elections at the time.

Goodluck Jonathan became president after Yar’Adua from 2010-2015.

Lagos has pushed a lot of us to the edge at one point or another. We might have adapted or in the process of adaptation.

If you’ve ever been stuck in traffic that was literally on hold for hours, you would understand that patience is very important to maintain your sanity sometimes.

While you’re stuck in traffic, you turn on the radio just to hear some “wanna gonna”, while you strain your ears to catch up.

But eating fantastic food at a low cost is an extreme sport in Lagos.

If you happen to live on the island, rain is probably not your best friend. When it rains, it pours, and floods.

Let’s focus on rent for a minute, from finding the house, to affording the bills, all I have to say is..

And then if you don’t own a car, transportation is an extreme sport in Lagos. I want to talk about the cost but I also want to talk about the stress of even getting buses itself.

If you have not had an encounter or know someone that has had an encounter or heard stories about Sarz officials, do you even leave in Lagos?

We always wonder why there are so many people in Lagos or why so many plan to move here? Like why is Lagos so overpopulated?

Most people don’t realise how much of a special food garri is.

I’m going to help you explore the world of garri.

The most basic combination is Garri and groundnut. Clearly.

There’s also Garri Cake. If you went to a Nigerian boarding school, you probably know what this is.

Another rather basic one will be Garri and milk. If you want to be filled to the brim, just have garrison and milk.

Garri also goes very well with coconut. I don’t even want to start. I promise you, this is fire.

If you come from a Nigerian home and you’ve never had beans and garri, I dont know what to say.

Let’s look into garri and asun… no, no, garri and fish. Actually no, garri and suya.

Another garri combination as seen in Nigerian homes will be moin-moin and garri.

There’s also a Nigerian snack called kuli kuli. It’s kind of hard to chew, but it is worth the stress.

You should keep in mind that with all of these combinations, it’s important to sweeten your garri with sugar.

These things only took place in my imaginations because I grew up in a Nigerian home.

Even though in reality, I wasn’t able to participate in any of the things I mentioned above, I must say my parents still allowed me have fun in some really cool places.

If you’re feeling anything I’ve been saying, then this is for you. Let’s analyse the theory behind some places our parents allowed us hangout freely.

One of our parent’s favourite places to take us to was the church or mosque. Because what could be more fun that being in the temple of God 24/7?

After church, if you decide to have a little more fun, Bible study is the place for you. You’d wonder how something that has the word ‘study’ in it can be fun, right?

It get’s a bit bearable when you’re on holidays, because you have the option of going to your cousins house. Not just any cousin though.

If you refuse to go to your cousins house, there’s always the option of hanging out with your mum, which is a lot of fun, especially when it’s at the market.

Or you can at least follow your mum or dad to the office. Learn a few things about their work.

You actually miss being in school during the holidays. No, like you start to miss your friends and even your worst teacher. And trust me, according to our parents, this is still the best place to hangout.

After class, do not, I repeat, do not go and play. Go to the library, hang out in the library, learn new things.

You know those youth camps your church or mosque organises. Now this is one place you actually genuinely have fun..sometimes.

Let’s talk about your house, the best place to hang out. For example; “Mummy, I want to go and play in my friend’s house tomorrow.”

Years later, “Mummy I’m going out”. Okay I hope you’re going to hang out in your husband’s house oh.

After a few more years, you have your own child. “Mummy I want to go for my friends house party please”. Ehn? You better dress up and let’s go for Bible study.

It could be you sis, or me. Actually maybe both of us.

So far, my investigation has shown the multiple ways a Yoruba Demon can break up with you.

The first thing I figured out is this: once you start hearing “it’s not you, it’s me”, please just agree, it’s him.

According to the Book of Yoruba Demons chapter 7 vs 23, in some cases he actually loves you, but…

”Baby, my pastor called me after church and told me we have to end it. He said you’re not the one for me”.

Once he starts fighting over every little thing, that’s the beginning of the end.

“Sorry, the number you’ve dialed does not exist, please check the number and dial again.”

Or you try to DM him on Instagram and as soon as you open Instagram you see a picture of his new babe.

Or in most cases you don’t even get the opportunity to see his babe, because he has blocked you.

While you’re still in doubt, you head over to his house and that gateman you used to give 50 naira everyday comes out and says…

The grandmaster of all their break up strategies. I don’t know if you’re ready for this one.

He sends you a wedding invitation.

If you’ve never experienced any of these, I hope you don’t.

We love food and drinks, and we have figured out creative ways to experiment and make new stuff, especially with our drinks.

Here are some locally made drinks that will switch up your taste buds once you try them.

Let’s start with the common ones, like Kunu.

I would like you to know that a lot of Non-Nigeria have called this drink “The Nigerian Irish Cream”. Kunu is made with groundnuts and some rice, or tiger nuts. It is rich in Protein, Minerals and Fibre.

Palmwine. This drink is the daddy of all local drinks. It could be alcoholic or non-alchoholic.

It is consumed in every part of Nigeria and is gotten from palm trees.

Anyway, if you’ve ever had pap (aka Ogi) before. Then you need to try Adoyo. This drink is deceitful because it looks like pineapple juice from afar.

Even though it is made from pineapple, it is also made from Ogi, which is made from corn.

Another incredible drink is Omi Wara. It is drank majorly by the Northerners and is made from cheese and water. Some people will disagree with the fact that it’s an incredible drink.

Let’s talk about Nigerian Vodka for a second, aka Ogogoro. If you’ve ever heard the names; sapele water, push me I push you, I for don marry, kai kai, etc, they are all from the same family, and their surname is Ogogoro. It is made from ripe plantain.

Another alcoholic drink is Burukutu. The production of this drink takes a rather long process because it has to ferment properly, for at least 48hours.

Finally we have something called Groundnut Milk Drink. It is is made from groundnut of course, and is very rich in protein. It’s basically groundnut and water.

There are a lot more drinks but let’s take baby steps and try these 8 first.

You know your CV is incredible when you highlight the fact that you are a self motivated individual who can work without supervision.

Even if you don’t consider yourself a young dynamic individual, you must add it too.

If the only thing you know how to use a computer to do is play Solitare, you must add that you are computer literate.

After putting that you are proficient with Microsoft Word you also have to add that you are proficient with Microsoft Excel.

What of your skill set? You can’t leave it out. We know they are many but you must add everything.

Next is the number of languages you speak. If you only have English on your C.V. then you are not ready for life.

Employers also want to know what your talents are. If you didn’t finish with a first class or 2.1, this is your time to shine.

You must also add the fact that you work well under pressure. Even if the office is on fire you won’t leave your desk, your work comes before your life.

When it comes to handling people, you are an expert at it. You are a people person, in fact people have told you to run for president.

What of work experience? let them know that you are 22 years old and you have 12 years experience. True story, you’ve been working since you were 10.

And finally attach a cover letter to your C.V. saying ‘It would be nice for you to consider my RĂ©sumĂ© and hire me’.

While Funke is crying, her friend is thinking of how she will meet Prince Charming at this wedding.

There’s also the bride’s best friend who is also her P.A throughout this wedding. This is the person who actually gets to decide who is on the bridal train.

You know those people you can never go shopping with because they never find anything they like? Yes, you will find them on the bridal train.

While the other bridesmaid is being dramatic with clothes. There’s one who just observes, because she has been on her bridesmaid duty for years.

There’s the bridesmaid who has suddenly taken the wedding planners job. She is everywhere and in everything.

This persons only mission for the wedding is to catch the bouquet. So if they throw the bouquet and this next person doesn’t catch it.

There’s the one that’s friends with every and any one because she’s not bothered about husband or wife or dress or anything.

The last person on this list is at this position because she is always late. For everything.

If you have ever been a bridesmaid. And you fall under any of these categories.