Ronke Otega, Author at èƵ! /author/ronnie/ Come for the fun, stay for the culture! Mon, 16 Aug 2021 19:24:56 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.8.2 /wp-content/uploads/zikoko/2020/04/cropped-Zikoko_Zikoko_Purple-Logo-1-150x150.jpg Ronke Otega, Author at èƵ! /author/ronnie/ 32 32 8 Yoruba Words That Mean The Same Thing in Edo /life/oldies/8-yoruba-words-mean-thing-edo/ Wed, 07 Jun 2017 14:08:52 +0000 http://zikoko.com/?p=91976 1. “Omo”

It means “child” in both Yoruba and Edo.

2. “Igbo/Ugbo”

“Igbo” is commonly said by Yoruba, but in some dialects, “Ugbo” is also used and it means the same thing in both Yoruba and Edo.

3. “Baba”

It means “Father” in both Yoruba and Edo.

4. “Oba”

It means “King” in Yoruba and it also means the same thing in Edo.

5. “Iye/Yeye”

The Yoruba might use “Yeye” more but the words mean the same thing in Yoruba and Edo; “Mother”.

6. “Unu/Enu”

Some Yoruba dialects switch the “u” for the “e” in “enu”, so it’s the same thing with Edo and it means, “Mouth”.

7. “Ogede/Oghede”

Apart from the slight different spellings, these words are pronouncd the same and mean the same; “Plantain/Banana”.

8. “Ibata/Bata”

If you can unlook the other ‘i’, this word is really the same thing in both Yoruba and Edo and it means, “Shoe”.

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]]> These Photos of The Baldest, Sexiest Men in Nollywood Will Make Your Day /life/oldies/photos-baldest-sexiest-men-nollywood-will-make-day/ Wed, 07 Jun 2017 12:11:39 +0000 http://zikoko.com/?p=91893 1. Richard Mofe-Damijo
He’s the king of all that is bald and sexy.

2. Banky W

He’s the prince.

3. Ik Ogbonna

He’s the prince’s younger brother.

4. Jim Iyke

Not completely bald but on his way there.

5. Ramsey Nouah

Same goes for him. We’re just waiting for him to accept his balding status fully.

6. Gideon Okeke

Also on his way to baldness, he still looks hawt either way.

7. Kalu Ikeagwu

Slowly approaching baldness + slight cheek dimple = Hawtness squared

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]]> Runtown Attempted a Clapback But Nigerians Are Not Interested /gist/runtown-attempted-clapback-nigerians-not-interested/ Wed, 07 Jun 2017 07:53:36 +0000 http://zikoko.com/?p=91846 A few times in the past, Nigerian celebrities have handed out some really juicy clapbacks. And most of those times,

Ah mean, just look at how Adekunle Gold jam this guy anyhow:

So that was how Runtown too tried to do his own:

https://twitter.com/Rouvafe/status/871849976946712576
But Nigerians are not even in support at all.

This guy thinks Runtown needs to go and be sleeping inside studio instead of wasting his time on Twitter:

This one thinks the clapback was just weak:

This one thinks Runtown needs to go and get sense so he won’t “run made over himself”:

https://twitter.com/Vicky__U/status/871991926500864001

This guy is just really tired of hearing that Mad Over You song:

This one thinks Runtown’s tweet just wasn’t savage enough:

This one thinks Runtown is the big loser and recycler:

https://twitter.com/OlaamideA/status/871978507559153664

Oshey! Runtown the recycling agent!

And so, the verdict is out…

Runtown has been found guilty of the lamest clapback in history…

…and is sentenced to 365 days in the studio to produce another beat.

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]]> 16 Times Aki And Pawpaw Killed it on Your TV Screen /life/oldies/16-times-aki-and-pawpaw-killed-it-on-your-tv-screen/ Tue, 06 Jun 2017 14:21:53 +0000 http://zikoko.com/?p=91765 Aki (real name: Chinedu Ikedieze) and Pawpaw (real name: Osita Iheme) are the notorious Nollywood movie twins that carry mischief and mayhem with them everywhere they go.
Their wahala has been seen, loved and laughed at on the big screen by many. Here are 16 times when this duo’s movies simply killed us:

1. This one where they were yabbing the poor “court clerk”:

https://youtu.be/A83ks5XgiJ0

2. This one were they were having running stomach:

3. This one where they said they were sent “from the gods”:

https://youtu.be/BNW_V6n1BKk

4. This one where Pawpaw was feeling like a wordsmith:

5. This one where Pawpaw said he wants to be a terrorist:

6. This one where they went to go and put mouth inside something that does not consign them:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=7lidpepc3uE

7. This one where they were dancing like tambolo entered their trousers:

8. This one where they started fighting themselves because of woman:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=aScN8JhE1Jo

9. This one where Pawpaw said he wants to use his father for ritual:

https://youtu.be/GyM9CggfYc0

10. This one where they tried to lie that they did not steal yam:

https://youtu.be/RbUI5VaEsIA

11. This one where they went to go and find trouble in school:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=vLkIBa-fufw

12. This one where they just showed what olodos they are:

13. The one where they went to give somebody belle:

14. This one where Aki and Pawpaw joined their mother to fight:

https://youtu.be/UnJmErrfD64

15. This one where they’re trying to toast woman:

https://youtu.be/5k-VrPUrakk

16. And who can forget Aki and Pawpaw in Aki na Ukwa?

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]]> 25 Tweets That Explain The Daily Struggle Passengers Have With Bus Conductors /life/oldies/25-tweets-that-explain-the-daily-struggle-passengers-have-with-bus-conductors/ Tue, 06 Jun 2017 11:49:15 +0000 http://zikoko.com/?p=91701 1. When the conductor refuses to stop for you because it’s not the “bus stop”:
They’ll just be shouting, “No be bus stop be dis”.

2. All the hatred you feel when the conductor is busy enjoying breeze outside and you’re sweating like Christmas goat inside:

3. All those perverted conductors:

Can you please keep your hands to yourself?

4. When you nearly miss your bus stop because you can’t even understand what the conductor is saying:

https://twitter.com/OhTimehin/status/646392291893071872
Which language do they even speak please?

5. Never ever EVER ask a conductor for directions:

They’ll just help you loss.

6. When you can’t find your money and you’ve already been giving the conductor eye:

https://twitter.com/veignmagazine/status/861336633681039360
It’s not a joking sturvz.

7. When you forget to collect your change from the conductor:

It can pain.

8. Conductors always manage to “forget” giving you change:

Conductors are the real scum tbh.

9. That annoying thing conductor’s do when they join your change with another passenger’s own:

Like, really?

10. When the conductor leaves with your change, it can really pain:

Like, really.

11. Really, when the conductor does not give you change, it can pain:

https://twitter.com/Adda_Fadi2/status/856895371481624580
It’s not even funny at all.

12. When you’re trying to form ajebo to call your bus stop, conductor will just be looking at you like:

https://twitter.com/gabrieltoluwani/status/856276715315892224
What is this one saying?

13. If you want to collect your change, you have to switch language for these conductors:

You cannot be forming ajebo for Lagos conductor.

14. You can really never be too sure when it comes to conductors and change:

Especially when there’s no money on these here streets.

15. When you’re staying jejely in your lane and the conductor uses his own to jam you:

But why na? Is it fair? Ehn?

16. When you want to do strong head after the conductor has said he doesn’t have change:

You get mind sha.

17. That awkward moment when the conductor starts fighting on top of your head:

https://twitter.com/Rouvafe/status/864869578530328576
Sha don’t punch me please.

18. Waiting for the conductor to give you change like:

Oya o…

19. When the conductor is trying to do strong head and doesn’t want to give you your change:

I go show craze for here today.

20. When the conductor is acting like they sent him to you:

If na play you dey play just stopeet.

21. When you decide to unlook and give the conductor bad money:

https://twitter.com/couth__/status/806609186385723393
Eez like you don’t even like yourself.

22. All those conductors that like running away with change:

https://twitter.com/TheTPL/status/783981509875294208
Where you dey go?

23. And all those conductors that’ll be abusing somebody anyhow because of change:

If you like abuse, just sha give me my change.

24. You when the conductor asks for money again after you’ve already paid:

https://twitter.com/LazyWrita/status/758988331216539648
It’s like something is worrying you.

25. When the conductor starts telling you to “dress, dress”:

Dress yourself.

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]]> 10 Things You No Longer Remember You Were Taught in English Class /general/10-things-you-no-longer-remember-you-were-taught-in-english-class/ Tue, 06 Jun 2017 08:00:20 +0000 http://zikoko.com/?p=91589 1. Gerunds
It might sound like Gerard, but no, it’s not somebody’s name.

2. Subject-Verb Agreement aka Concord

If you don’t remember this, you should really hide your head in shame. This topic caused so much heartache in English Language exams. The struggle to understand concord and its many rules was real.

3. Monophthong, Diphthong and Triphthong

Probably the only “thongs” you remember now are the ones they wear abi? SMH! Shame! Shame on you! Monophthong, Diphthong and Triphthongs are the three different ways of producing vowel sounds. Remember now?

4. Phrases

Noun phrases, verb phrases, adjectival phrases; back then it seemed like every thing was a phrase.

5. Clauses

Clauses made us feel almost the same way phrases made us feel and were just as, if not more confusing than them.

6. Punctuation Marks

Judging by the nonsense way people write on Facebook and Twitter, I’m pretty sure punctuation was the first thing y’all forgot as soon as WAEC was over. Shebi?

7. Prepositions

When to use “in” and “on”, “under” and “beneath”; prepositions were hard to understand even when we were being taught, talk less of now.

8. Verbs and Adverbs

A verb is an action word or a doing wordAs learned in every Nigerian primary school

If this was you defining a verb in primary school, do like this:

9. Nouns and Pronouns

Name, name, name, name; this game helped us to remember what a noun is. But I’m pretty sure y’all have forgotten.

10. Comparative and Superlative

Just add “-er” or “-est” in some cases. In others, “more” and “most”. But do you even remember which goes when?

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]]> 7 Reasons Living Alone Is The Absolute Best /life/oldies/7-reasons-living-alone-is-the-absolute-best/ Mon, 05 Jun 2017 14:58:41 +0000 http://zikoko.com/?p=91558 1. Nobody telling you what to do, how to do it or when to do it.

2. You can decide to leave your shit lying around and no one will complain about it.

3. You never have to share your food.

No extra mouth that’ll be eyeing your meat.

4. You get the bed all to yourself.

Sound sleep loading!

5. You can stay home completely naked all day with no judgement.

Freedom. Absolute freedom.

6. You get to meet your things exactly where you kept them.

7. You get to do whatever weird things you like and don’t have to worry about anybody finding out.

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]]> èƵ Selects: The Funniest Videos On The Internet To Start Your Week /life/oldies/zikoko-selects-funniest-videos-internet-start-week/ Mon, 05 Jun 2017 10:44:21 +0000 http://zikoko.com/?p=91477 1. This one about all those friends that just know everybody.

2. These ones that were trying to follow ladder to only God knows where:

https://twitter.com/KraksTV/status/869272370942541824

3. This one about sex positions that’ll make you plead the blood of Jesus:

https://twitter.com/KraksTV/status/870257447423889408

4. This one about that wicked teacher everybody had in school:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BUwN2qCABIJ/?taken-by=funny_african_pics

5. This one that is just shading Nigerian policemen anyhow:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BUv5GgmgBbT/?taken-by=funny_african_pics

6. And then there’s this one about Nigerians and job rejections:

https://twitter.com/IamKanmi/status/867830507396116480

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]]> This Is The Real Life Story Of The Time I Saw A Goat Fly /general/this-is-the-real-life-story-of-the-time-i-saw-a-goat-fly/ Mon, 05 Jun 2017 08:33:40 +0000 http://zikoko.com/?p=91396 This is a story of the time I saw a goat fly.
Like, fam, I am not even kidding. I. SAW. A. GOAT. FLY.

And I’m not even talking the “Greatest Of All Time” aka GOAT kind of goat that you would call this guy:

I mean, quite literally, a goat. Ewu. Ewure. Horns, hooves and all, like this guy:

Minus the sunglasses sha. So here’s what led the goat to flying:

I live on the first floor of a building and there’s this one goat that always comes to disturb my trash.

You know how all these goats like to do na.

One day, I came home to find the goat at it again.

Something that was like this before:

Was already looking like this:

I just snapped.

I chased the goat and it ran upstairs to the second floor.

Me I was already thinking, “Mumu, there’s nowhere for you to go now. I will turn you into pepper soup this night”.

But I think the goat was already thinking:

“Mmmeeeeh…Sisteeeeh, you are on your own eeehhhh.”

That was how it climbed to the balcony, stood on the railing and jumped!

Fam, this goat jumped two floors, landed on the ground, then looked at me like:

Me I was just looking like:

All the people I told did not now believe me.

They were now looking at me like:

Since then, I’ve seriously been questioning my life’s existence.

Please, fam, tell me you believe me! Before I go and check myself into Aro.

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]]> 5 Errands From Your Childhood You’ll Never Get To Give Your Kids /life/oldies/5-errands-childhood-youll-never-get-give-kids/ Fri, 02 Jun 2017 15:19:50 +0000 http://zikoko.com/?p=91339 1. You’ll never get to make your kids sit by the radio to listen for when your favourite programme is about to start.
Or tune the radio until you get a frequency that works. Not when you can play the radio on your phone and carry that phone around with you.

2. You’ll never get to put your kids in charge of washing the globe, changing the wick and filling this lantern with kerosene:

Not when there are rechargeable lamps, solar-powered lamps, inverter, generator…sigh

3. You’ll also never get to make them wash this stove every Saturday morning:

From inside to outside till it shines like your teeth.

4. You’ll never get to send them to change the television channel:

Not when there are now remote controls. Although, you could always send them to get the remote but it’s really not the same thing.

5. You’ll never get to make them tell the person calling that you’re not in.

Not when anybody trying to reach you can just call you directly.

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