Sunken Ships is a ¿ìèÊÓƵ weekly series that explores the how and why of the end of all relationships — familial, romantic or just good old friendships.
Ibrahim*(32) was more than a friend to Deji*(31), he was a brother. They met as university students, bonded over their love for football, and spent years navigating adulthood together.
For Sunken Ships, Deji shares how that brotherhood slowly fell apart after he fell for a woman Ibrahim once wanted.
Let’s start at the beginning.
I met Ibrahim at a football viewing centre at our university. We kept running into each other during the 2017 Premier League season. One day, we got talking and found out we were both die-hard Manchester United supporters. That was how our friendship started.
What were the early days of your friendship like?
Fantastic. Ibrahim quickly became my closest friend. We talked every day and shared everything: family issues, money problems, relationships, and career plans. He’s a year older than me and always seemed to have life figured out. I looked up to him like an older brother. Whenever something important happened in my life, he was the first person I called.
I can never forget an event that happened during my final year in 2018. I lost a chunk of my school fees to gambling, and got desperate as the payment deadline got closer. Eventually, I opened up to Ibrahim. He scolded me but also helped me raise the money, and made me promise to quit gambling. That moment deepened our bond even more.
Sounds nice.
Yes, I’ll always be grateful to him for that. It made me feel like I could count on him no matter what.
Even after school, we stayed close. In 2021, when I wanted to leave my family home, Ibrahim suggested we rent a two-bedroom flat together in a building his grandmother owned. The rent was cheaper, so it made sense.
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Right. And what was living together like?
At first, it was great. We split chores, paid bills on time and spent most evenings watching football together. Ibrahim also loved hosting game nights, so there was always something happening. It felt like living with a brother.
The only area where we really differed was dating.
What do you mean?
Ibrahim believed money was the quickest way to a woman’s heart. He’s a data analyst and earns well, so he never hesitated to spend on the women he liked. I’m the opposite. I don’t earn as much as he does, so I rely more on conversation and personality.
Right. Did this difference ever become a problem?
We joked about our different approaches, but it was never a serious issue.
Oh.
Then in 2024, Ibrahim told me about a woman he’d met online. He really liked her, but from what he told me, she wasn’t very receptive.
At the time, I didn’t think it was anything serious. He talked about her often and seemed disappointed that things weren’t progressing. Eventually, he stopped mentioning her, so I assumed he’d moved on.
Then, in early 2025, I met the same woman through a mutual friend, and we started talking. Once I realised who she was, I knew I needed to talk to Ibrahim before pursuing anything.
How did that conversation go?
I told him I liked her and asked if he’d be uncomfortable with me pursuing a relationship with her since things between them hadn’t worked out. He said there was no problem, and I completely believed him.
If he’d told me he wasn’t comfortable, I would’ve backed off, but he seemed calm about it and gave his blessings.
So what changed after you started dating the woman in question??
Everything. He became distant. We stopped doing things together, not the game nights or the football matches. Whenever I tried to make conversation, he’d shut it down with one-word responses.
Must have been tough.
The worst part was how he treated my girlfriend whenever she visited. He never greeted her, never spoke to her and acted like she wasn’t there.
She asked me a few times if she’d offended Ibrahim, but I kept telling her not to worry.
Did you try talking to him about it?
I did, but he insisted everything was fine and claimed he was busy with work. Still, his behaviour stayed the same. Then, in September 2025, he finally came clean.
He told me our living arrangement wasn’t working anymore and said I needed to move out. At first, I thought he was joking, but once I realised he wasn’t, the shock and hurt hit me.
I was confused by the whole situation because I’d specifically asked for his blessing before pursuing the babe.
Right. Did you remind him?
Of course. That’s when he admitted that he only agreed because he didn’t want to seem selfish. That was the first honest thing he’d said about the situation.
But I continued looking for a new place anyway because he didn’t rescind his decision. He still wanted me out. The whole period between finding a new place and still sharing the apartment with him was miserable. We went days without speaking. It felt like I was living with a stranger.
Eventually, I found a place in April 2026. It felt sad to leave because I’d spent years building that relationship. But it is what it is. I’m still with my babe, and the relationship is thriving.
Do you ever wonder if the relationship was worth losing Ibrahim over?
Sometimes. I don’t regret my relationship. I just wish I’d found a way to keep both.
Do you think you’d reconcile if Ibrahim reached out?
It wouldn’t be easy, but I’d still try. A part of me hopes we’ll speak again someday.
