For Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month, we spoke to seven men about the financial and mental cost of being everyone’s safety net.

“I became the ‘man of the house’ at 19” — Jamal*, 29

I was 19 when my dad went to prison for workplace fraud. The shock contributed to my mum’s stroke, which left her unable to walk properly. As the first of five children, everyone looked to me to provide. 

I was in 200 level, but I had to start random hustles to make sure we survived. At one point, I worked in a poultry farm during the day and did security work at night. While my classmates were talking about girlfriends, I was calculating the cost of school fees and my mum’s blood pressure meds. My dad was released two years ago, but I’m still the breadwinner.

“I’ve inherited my dad’s responsibilities” — Jeremiah*, 26 

My dad sort of handed over the “provider” baton to me after I passed out from NYSC. This is mostly my fault. My first job was remote and paid in dollars, and I excitedly told my dad about it. More foolishly, I gave him half of my first salary (about ₩500k) as a gesture of appreciation for funding my life up to that point.

That’s how the billing started. 

He started expecting an allowance every month. He’d ask me, “They haven’t paid you?” when I delayed sending him money. 

Now, whenever my siblings ask him for money, he sends them to me. Last year, I paid our ₩1.8 million house rent. It was supposed to be a loan, but he hasn’t repaid me yet. It’s exhausting because I should be planning for my future, but I’m inheriting bills.

“40% of my salary goes to black tax” — Ben*, 28

In 2021, my parents invested almost everything into a business partnership with a family friend. The friend disappeared with the money. The stress nearly destroyed my parents. It completely destroyed their finances. 

I was a 23-year-old final-year university student when the whole thing happened.  My plan to pursue a master’s abroad immediately went down the drain. Instead, I focused on getting a job as soon as possible to support my home. It’s been five years, and now, 40% of my salary goes to my parents and younger sister.

°Őłó±đÌęÌęis returning on August 22, 2026, in Lagos! Come learn from finance experts and industry leaders, and partake in unfiltered conversations about building wealth and diversifying your income stream in a country like Nigeria.ÌęReal stories, expert advice you can actually use, and a community ready to build wealth together.Ìę.

“I’m not the firstborn, but since I’m a man, there are expectations” — Kingsley*, 29

My phone notifications are my biggest source of anxiety. Since my dad retired from the police force six years ago, every call from home has either been about hospital bills, rent or a family emergency. 

It’s wild because I’m not even the firstborn. I have an older sister, but as a man, the expectations just fell on me. Two years ago, I tried a thing where I said no to every request and stubbornly refused to send money, but my mum called me crying that they hadn’t eaten for days. I had to start sending money again. 

These days, I try to keep it to a ₩80k monthly allowance for my parents and lock up whenever new requests come in. Sometimes, though, emergencies come, and my strategy to limit my black tax fails. 

“I provide for my sister and her baby” — Mike*, 27

I lost my dad when I was 4, so I’ve been hustling for as long as I can remember to supplement whatever money my mum manages to give me. Once I started earning a reasonable income at 20, I naturally took on most of the household bills.

Recently, my financial responsibilities have increased. My younger sister, who had a baby, isn’t on good terms with the baby’s daddy. So, she and the baby now live with my mum and me. I’m spending a fortune on diapers, baby food and clothes. I don’t really mind because it’s my sister. However, I sometimes can’t help thinking about the fact that I earn ₩1.5 million/month and have zero savings. 

“I can’t wait to have the final say on my own money” — Caleb*, 22

I’m my parents’ retirement plan. They don’t say it outright, but it’s obvious in the way they plan my money for me. My dad says things like “when your salary comes, help us with X amount so we can do so and so,” or “Let’s try to pay for XX by month’s end.” 

I can’t object because I work with a family friend, and everyone knows how much I earn. I can’t wait to leave this house and get another job so I can have the final say on what to do with my own money.

“It’s hard, but I’m glad I can support my family” — Nonso*, 35

I’ve been the breadwinner since I was 18 after my dad left our family in Nigeria to marry another woman abroad.

I did several odd jobs for years to keep my sisters in uni and support my mum’s petty trading income. I never went to uni myself, but I now run a successful business and still support my family. It gets hard at times, especially when I think about the fact that I can’t spend anyhow because of the people depending on me. But I know my sisters see my sacrifices and are incredibly grateful to me. 

The oldest one changed my car tyres a few months ago and comes to my place randomly to cook for me. I have a wonderful family, and I’m glad I can support them.

*Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.

NEXT READ: “She Secretly Used My Card” — 8 Nigerian Men Share Their Most Financially Demanding Relationships

In the past couple of years, Nigerian men have become hot in the global dating market, especially among foreign women who go on and on about finding their ‘Nigerian prince’ like they’ve been jazzed.

Scroll through social media and you’ll see women sharing tips on how to keep a Nigerian man, others proudly wearing aso-ebi or learning Igbo for their partner. Say what you want about Nigerian men, but dating them has become
 a thing.

What’s the catch?

Nigerians are everywhere, and they tend to stand out. According to Financial Times, Nigerian men rank among the most ambitious and highly educated migrant groups in the United States, which counts for a lot in an increasingly competitive dating scene.

The ‘Odogwu’ mentality

Nigerian men have built a reputation as ‘providers and protectors’, and because they like to show off, they don’t do it quietly. Early on in relationships, it’s common for them to come in strong with grand gestures and big promises that sweep women off their feet.

Because Nigerian culture leans heavily towards family values, they’re not shy about committing or stepping into the role of “husband” early on (even when they might already have a whole family back home).

For women coming from more individualistic dating cultures, that kind of attention can feel refreshing.

Add the widely held but unverified belief that Nigerian men are exceptionally good in bed, and it’s safe to say that Nigerian men just have very good PR.

There’s also a pop-culture effect

The reputation doesn’t exist in a vacuum. Nigerian culture itself has been gaining global attention, and it’s doing a lot of the heavy lifting. From Afrobeats to Nollywood to fashion, the country has become impossible to ignore on the global stage.

Nigerians wear their culture loudly, through bold style, extravagant weddings and an overall sense of spectacle the world has clearly bought into.

At some point, the appeal of the Nigerian man stopped being just about the man, but a part of a seductive package.

Even TV has played a role. Shows like The Real Housewives of Atlanta have helped frame Nigerian men as desirable, with cast members casually referencing their “African kings” and showing off the lifestyle that comes with them.

Do it for the plot?

Nigerian men are apparently great for character development. So, for anyone who likes the whwirlwind romance and the drama, it’s a no-brainer, no?

We asked nine Nigerian men to share what the “bro code” means to them, and as expected, they didn’t all agree.

“We didn’t call it bro code in our time, but we lived by it” — Joseph*, 45

Joseph laughs when he hears the phrase “bro code.” It’s not something he grew up saying, but he understands the idea behind it.

“In my generation, we didn’t call it bro code, but we had our own way of standing up for each other. If your guy was broke, you supported him. If he got into trouble, you showed up. If his woman left him, you didn’t spread the gist. That was how we moved.

These days, young people talk about the bro code all the time, but they’re the first to break it. You’ll see someone shouting ‘loyalty’ online, but in real life, he’s gossiping about his friend. Back then, your actions spoke for you. You didn’t need to say ‘I’ve got your guy’s back,’ you just showed it.

For me, being a real friend has always been about respect. You don’t cross certain lines. You don’t sleep with your friend’s woman, you don’t humiliate him in front of others, and you definitely don’t betray his trust. We didn’t need a fancy word like bro code to describe that; it was just how we were raised.”

“Bro code is about respecting unspoken boundaries” — Victor*, 27

For Victor, bro code isn’t about being blindly loyal or always covering for your guys. He thinks it’s about understanding limits, reading the room, and keeping respect intact both ways. To him, it’s less a list of dos and don’ts and more about emotional intelligence among men.

“I think people overhype bro code. It’s not some sacred rulebook that says you have to die on your friend’s hill or lie for him just because you’re ‘bros’. For me, it’s about respecting unspoken boundaries.

Like, don’t overstep. Don’t share private things your guy told you in confidence. Don’t flirt with his partner or his sister, not even jokingly. Don’t bring your friend’s matter up in public or with people who aren’t close to him. And if he tells you something personal, don’t turn it into gist for the group chat. That’s bro code to me.

I also think people forget that respect goes both ways. Your guy should know what’s appropriate to share with you, too. I have friends who overshare about their relationships, and sometimes I tell them, ‘Guy, I don’t need to know all that.’ Because if it ever goes south, I don’t want to be in the middle of awkwardness or be expected to pick sides.

Bro code doesn’t mean covering up nonsense or pretending your guy is right when he’s wrong. It just means handling things quietly, respectfully, and without drama. Even if I have to call you out, I’ll do it privately, not in front of others. That’s how we maintain balance.

At the end of the day, I think every friendship has its own version of bro code. For some people, it’s loyalty. For others, it’s secrecy. For me, it’s boundaries. I don’t think I can have a lasting friendship with any guy who doesn’t understand that.”

“My friends’ sisters are off limits. Always” — Yemi*, 31

Yemi learned the hard way that friendship and family don’t always mix. After a relationship that ruined a long-time friendship, he made a personal rule about dating within the circle.

“I was in uni when I dated my closest friend’s younger sister. We were always hanging out in the same group, and things just happened. At first, my guy didn’t even mind. He teased me about it and told me to behave myself. But after the breakup, everything changed.

He felt betrayed, and honestly, I could understand. He said it wasn’t even about the relationship; it was about how awkward everything became after. He couldn’t trust me around his family anymore. And for me, that friendship was never the same. We tried to patch things up, but you can’t force comfort.

Since then, my friends’ sisters are no-go areas. And they know not to try that rubbish with mine either. I tell everyone upfront that it’s a line I won’t cross again. For me, that’s what bro code is about: respecting boundaries. Once you break that, everything else starts to crumble.”

“I think the bro code is overrated” — Chibuzo*, 26

At 26, Chibuzo doesn’t believe in keeping silent just because it’s what friends are “supposed” to do. He thinks a lot of what men call bro code is simply protecting bad behaviour.

“Half the time, the bro code is just an excuse for nonsense. Like when a guy cheats and his friends cover for him — that’s not loyalty, that’s foolishness. Or when a friend is messing up and everyone stays quiet because you don’t want to be seen as a snitch.

I believe in respect and honesty, not blind loyalty. If you’re my guy and you mess up, I’ll tell you. If you disrespect someone, I’ll call you out. That’s how real friendships grow. But I’ve noticed that most guys prefer comfort over truth; they want you to keep quiet and just ‘stand by the bros.’ That’s not me.

And don’t even get me started on how the bro code stops men from being vulnerable. Guys are dying in silence because they’ve been told ‘real men don’t talk.’ For me, the real bro code should be about caring for your guys, not covering for them. If we can’t be honest with each other, what’s the point?”

“Bro code is about respect, not competition” — Toluwani*, 28

Toluwani doesn’t believe the bro code has one definition that fits everyone. For him, it’s more about mutual respect and understanding the boundaries that make a friendship work.

“To me, bro code depends on the people involved and the level of respect between them. The way I apply it with one person might not be the same way I apply it with another.

In a nutshell, it means prioritising your friend over anything else — especially if you knew him before you started your relationship. It’s also about respect: not going after the same woman your friend wants, not chasing his ex, and definitely not sharing his secrets to score points with other people.

I think of bro code as an agreement that says, ‘I’ve got you, and you’ve got me.’ It’s not about being loyal blindly; it’s about protecting your friendship and showing that you value your guy enough not to compete with him.”

“Bro code is about having each other’s backs no matter what” — Japhet*, 30

For Japhet, the bro code isn’t some unwritten rule passed around in group chats; it’s a lifestyle of loyalty. His idea of it means protecting your guys at all costs, even when they’re wrong.

“In a few words, bro code is about protecting your bro’s interests. But there’s a lot more to it than that.

For my best friend and me, it’s mostly about covering for each other. That’s something we’ve done countless times, especially when we were both dating different people. No matter what, we always made sure to have each other’s backs.

Another thing is that we never correct each other in public. Even if he’s wrong, I’ll back him there and then, and we’ll talk about it later in private. That’s how deep the loyalty goes.”

“A bro is a bro, loyalty doesn’t expire” — Hamid*, 31

For Hamid, bro code boils down to one word: loyalty. Whether or not it’s deserved doesn’t really matter. Once someone has earned the title of “bro,” the code applies even if the friendship fades over time.

“Bro code means loyalty, whether or not it’s deserved. As long as there’s a bro connection, it doesn’t matter if it’s still strong or already stale. A bro is a bro.

But not everyone deserves that ‘holding them accountable’ energy. There are levels to this bro thing. Some guys are just there — you keep them at arm’s length, and deep down, you’re just waiting for them to mess up so you can create distance.

With those kinds of people, the code is simple: never be caught talking behind them or trying to explain your side of the story to others, especially when it’s not a reconciliation talk. People know what they’re doing.

Any bro wey don fuck up will feel the distance. And if he doesn’t bother to ask what’s wrong, that means the act was deliberate.”

“Bro code means being there for your guy without judgement” — Demola*, 35

For Demola, bro code isn’t something you recite; it’s something you live by. It’s about loyalty; showing up for your guy when it counts and keeping your lips sealed when needed.

“Bro code to me means being there for your guy and not judging them. Sometimes, your guy might mess up, but instead of being the one to condemn him, you help him figure it out. You might have to keep a few secrets here and there — not the harmful kind, but the ones that protect your guy’s peace.

At the end of the day, it’s about being true to the person, being objective, and standing by them even when you don’t agree with what they did. That’s bro code to me.”

“If you mess up, I won’t code anything” — Deji*, 28

Deji isn’t big on the sentimental idea of bro code. For him, it’s not a sacred bond or a lifelong oath; it’s just a set of common-sense rules that keep friendships from becoming messy. He believes in loyalty, but not at the expense of accountability.

“The bro code doesn’t mean all that much to me. Doesn’t mean I don’t live by some of them, but at the core, if you mess up, I won’t code anything. I can’t defend nonsense just because we’re friends.

But since we’re on it, there are some basics I expect my guy to honour. If you see me outside with a different babe, keep quiet and mind your business. But if you see my babe with someone else, I need to know ASAP, that level of loyalty is important.

I also don’t think you should ever be caught badmouthing me to others. If I ask for help and you can assist, do what you can without making me feel small about it. And my female relatives? Off limits. The same goes for my girlfriend; you can’t even try to hit on her. My exes, too. Someone once tried that shit with me, and I cut him off immediately.

If you commit serious atrocities and tell me, I’ll keep the secret. But if the matter casts publicly, best believe I’ll speak against you if necessary. Bro code shouldn’t be used to defend stupidity.”

*Names have been changed to protect the identity of the subjects.

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Jabbar* was only 12 the first time he saw people having sex. 

He lived in a face-me-I-face-you compound on Lagos Island, where curious teenagers were mostly left to their own devices. A neighbour in his mid-20s often had women over, and one afternoon Jabbar peeked through a window and saw bodies moving in ways he didn’t understand. 

Up until that point, sex education had been little more than vague warnings at home and technical diagrams in class. “I remember staring at the diagrams of male and female reproductive organs in my Biology textbook and barely understanding them,” he recalls. “Even though everything was labelled, they told me nothing about what the organs really looked like or what the process of sex itself involved.”

So, when an uncle later gifted him a Samsung touchscreen, the phone became his classroom. “I was constantly on websites like Toxic wap and Waptrick, looking for adult content,” he tells żìĂšÊÓÆ”. “Some of them had age restrictions, but how were they going to know I wasn’t 18?”

Jabbar clicked through hundreds of clips, mostly drawn to amateur videos because they felt closest to what he’d first seen through his neighbour’s window.

“At my peak, I watched every night,” he says, now 29. “Sometimes during the day, too, if I was alone.” Jabbar told himself it was harmless, but then it began blurring his idea of real life intimacy. He struggled to approach women, and even inside relationships, he’d return to porn for the familiar feeling of easy, almost effortless, access to pleasure.

shows that most men first encounter porn in their early teens. For Nigerians who grew up in the 2000s and early 2010s, porn wasn’t hard to find. A that 72% of young people had stumbled upon porn online, often in public places like cybercafĂ©s. More than 63% said they first accessed the internet between ages 15 and 19. Those early encounters didn’t just spark curiosity, for some, they set the stage for how many would later approach sex, often with unrealistic or unhealthy expectations.

Tunde*, 31, first encountered porn at 16, mixed in with music and videos a classmate shared via Bluetooth. He binged every clip. “I remember thinking, how are they doing this? And then realising my body was reacting strangely. I was having long, almost aching erections with pre-cum soiling my pants.”

From there, porn became a near-daily habit. Like Jabbar, Tunde watched every day, sometimes multiple times a day. He explored everything — straight porn, gay porn, BDSM, even extreme categories like bestiality, which he never really enjoyed, but couldn’t look away from. “It was like chasing the next thrill,” he admits. “Once one thing stopped giving me the same high, l’d try something more shocking.”

By his twenties, he knew it was a problem. He was masturbating two or three times a day, struggling to concentrate on schoolwork, and sneaking porn at home, in class, even at work. He remembers slipping away, again and again, to a farm near his parents’ house just to be alone with his phone and a clip. 

Like many men, he kept those struggles to himself. Porn isn’t something most openly talk about, even though many discovered it the same way Jabbar and Tunde did — out of curiosity, boredom, or chance — and it quickly became their first and only form of sex education. What begins as exploration, often grows into habit, and for some, a dependency they don’t admit to anyone.

Yet, the consequences seep into real life. Men who struggle with excessive porn use reshapes their relationships, leaving them feeling detached from their partners. Over time, real intimacy starts to break down: sex becomes performance, partners sense something is off, and emotional distance grows in silence.

“It made me less attracted to women at one point because I hated how they were treated in those videos,” Tunde says. “Sometimes I skip foreplay and go straight to it, until maybe I catch myself. There are times I don’t get an erection until I watch porn. There are also times I just masturbate and ignore my partner completely. Sometimes I can cuddle, kiss and everything, but not want to consummate it with sex. It varies from relationship to relationship, but porn has definitely left its mark. I’ve tried to stop on religious and health grounds, but I always find myself going back.”

For others, the guilt is spiritual. In a country where faith plays a central role in daily life, porn habits clash directly with religious values. The cycle of indulgence, regret, and repentance leaves many men wrestling with a shame they can’t share, even with their closest friends.

Tobi*, 34, knows this cycle all too well. He grew up in a deeply religious home where even curiosity surrounding sex was considered a sin. “Even mentioning masturbation or sex in passing was enough for a long lecture,” he recalls. So when he stumbled on porn at 15, it felt like rebellion. But that rebellion quickly became an obsession.

By university, he was binging porn for hours, sometimes all night. He failed courses, but what weighed on him most was the guilt. “Every time I finished, I’d pray and beg God for forgiveness. It became a cycle: watch, regret, repent, repeat. And because you can’t gist your friends about porn, I carried the shame alone.”

He assumed marriage would cure it. If he had a partner, he thought, the cravings would vanish. But addiction doesn’t disappear just because sex is available. The first time his wife caught him, she didn’t say anything, until later that night when she stopped midway through sex and asked, ‘Am I not enough?’ I realised I’d been living a double life: a devoted husband outside, a struggling addict inside.”

Over the years, he’s tried prayer, fasting, accountability apps, even switching to monochrome devices. Nothing has stuck. He can go weeks without porn, then one stressful day pulls him back in. 

Beyond relationships and religion, the toll on one’s mental health is just as heavy. Some men report isolation, anxiety, or a warped self-image tied to their consumption. 

“Nobody talks about porn addiction, especially in religious circles.” Tobi says. “Yes, there’s the occasional preaching about how it’s a sin. But not so much helping you understand how you got to this point and how you can break free. So you just carry it like a dirty secret.”

But not every man sees consistent porn consumption through a lens of shame or struggle — for some, like Segun*, 29, it’s not a moral crisis but a harmless habit.

“I watch it when I feel like it, I masturbate, and I move on,” he says “Sometimes, I watch almost every day, and it has never stopped me from living my life. I did well in school, I’ve dated, and I’m in a stable relationship now. My girlfriend knows I watch porn sometimes, and she doesn’t mind.”

He even calls it educational. “Growing up, nobody gave us sex education. Porn filled that gap. Maybe not perfectly, but it helped me understand my body and even talk about sex more openly. I get that for some people it’s an addiction, but that’s not how I choose to see it. I can go weeks without it. I think the real problem is how Nigerian society demonises sex in general. For me, it’s just porn, nothing more, nothing less.”

While some men dismiss porn as harmless and others wrestle with shame, medical professionals are seeing the consequences of excessive consumption up close. Dr. Zainab Olayiwola, a US-based Nigerian physician, says porn addiction is “far more common than most men admit,” often disguised as nothing more than “insatiable male desire.”

“But when you look closely, it’s usually rooted in deeper issues like  anxiety, depression, loneliness, and low self-esteem,” she explains. “One of the big consequences I’ve seen is desensitisation. Men get so overstimulated that they can’t respond to real intimacy unless they escalate to watching more extreme or violent porn. That desensitisation doesn’t just affect their body, it affects how they see women; they objectify them.”

Zainab recalls a patient who couldn’t ejaculate during sex with his wife unless he watched porn alongside her. “He thought it was normal to ask his spouse to watch together, but what he was experiencing was porn-induced erectile dysfunction. It also affects ejaculation — making sex prolonged — and can even lower sperm quality.”

And for the many Nigerian men who say porn doubled as their first sex education, she offers a mixed perspective. “Yes, it’s safer than experimenting recklessly with strangers. But it rewires the brain’s reward system. It trains you to crave instant gratification, which can spill into other parts of life. That’s why porn addiction often sits side by side with impulsivity, shame, isolation, even self-hatred.”

From her practice, she’s noticed that the most vulnerable group are young men between 18 and 35 — the ones with easy internet access and few guardrails. “They’re also the age group most likely to be impulsive and to carry unrealistic expectations about sex and life,” she adds.

When it comes to help, Zainab stresses that the options are there, but they require honesty and persistence. “Therapy, therapy, therapy. It’s not just about stopping porn, it’s about retraining behaviour. Cognitive behavioural therapy can teach coping strategies, but really any form of psychotherapy that tackles shame and impulsivity will help.”

While doctors frame porn as a medical and psychological concern, pastors often see it as a spiritual battle. Olamide Ologbonori, a Nigerian clergyman now based in the UK, says porn is “one of the biggest scourges of our time,” and far more men are quietly wrestling with it than the church likes to admit.

“It’s just too accessible,” he explains. “You hear men say they first saw porn when they were eight or nine. In my own case, I was about 11. This was before smartphones or social media. I remember finding a porn VCD hidden in my barber’s drawer. I stole it out of curiosity and played it at home. That was my first exposure, and I know many millennials — and now Gen Z — have similar stories.”

From his pastoral work, he believes this early exposure explains why porn feels almost “normalised” today. But for Christians, he insists it can never be. “The Bible doesn’t say manage it or try to resist it. It says flee. The very word ‘pornography’ comes from porneia, which translates to sexual immorality. And 1 Corinthians 6:18 is clear: flee all sexual immorality. That means Christians aren’t empowered to manage porn; we’re empowered to run away from it.”

He recalls counselling a man in his congregation who made him an “accountability partner” through a recovery app. “He would check in whenever he slipped, and I would encourage him to keep trying. If you did two weeks last time, let’s push for a month. That’s how we managed it. The journey isn’t easy, but walking in the spirit — prayer, studying scripture, acts of love — is what helps you replace the desire.”

But his advice isn’t just spiritual; it’s practical too. He urges men to cut off triggers, whether it’s deleting apps like X (formerly Twitter), or distancing themselves from peers who normalise porn. “Even men without faith admit it makes them feel guilty and drained afterwards,” he says. “But if you want to break free, you have to remove the triggers and fill your life with what feeds your spirit instead.”

While some suggest quitting entirely, others see porn as a tool that, when used intentionally, can enhance intimacy.

Sex therapist Elizabeth Adewale has worked with men and women who found porn useful in exploring or sustaining intimacy. She remembers a client who struggled with low libido until she introduced softer forms of erotica like audio porn and erotic literature. “It really helped boost her arousal and expand her sexual imagination. That change alone helped her reconnect with her partner,” Elizabeth says.

She also describes couples who’ve used porn intentionally to revive stagnant sex lives or stay connected across distance, per her recommendations. “One couple who had been together for years found things getting stale. Watching porn together gave them permission to laugh, experiment, and find new excitement. Another long-distance couple traded erotic videos to explore fantasies they could later try in person. It became less about porn itself and more about communication and creativity.”

For her, the problem isn’t porn itself, but how people engage with it. “See it as entertainment, not education,” she says. “Actors are performing with enhancements, editing, and unrealistic scenarios. If you try to measure your body or performance against that, you’ll hurt your confidence. But if you use it intentionally, it can spark conversations or fantasies without dictating your reality.”

She encourages men to choose ethical platforms, set personal boundaries, and, where possible, remove secrecy. That also means being intentional about frequency. “Decide when and how often you want to watch it, don’t let it take over your life,” she advises. “If you have a partner, be open about it instead of hiding it. You can even watch together if you’re both comfortable. The goal is to approach porn with honesty, balance, and intentionality rather than shame or secrecy.”

*Names have been changed to protect the identity of the subjects.

But this is not to say that a good suit or trad won’t still bang and win you all the compliments if it’s done just right. There are tricks to these things, way more than restricting the sleeves of your agbada or kaftan at three quatres or grabbing a well-drycleaned suit.

The trends all the fashion lords are rocking on the ‘gram and off anyways have almost nothing to do with those kinds of looks. See them below:

Tie-dye

One would expect this trend to have gone out of style months later. But the most stylish men seem unable to let it go just yet, and there are many ways they are styling it. Tie-dye prints are now being rocked as bottoms over bright coloured Cuban shirts or even as a two-piece set.

Tic Tac print

Tic-tac prints have been blowing up on Instagram all year round. Whether it’s trousers, shirts, or jalabia that you can lay your hand on, tic-tac prints are definitely the fashion item that will take your style from zero to a hundred this month. The super stylish men have been rocking them on a casual day to the office and church.

Aso-oke

The aso oke trend has long been a staple in the female quatres. But thanks to many local fashion brands, the traditional weave material has been democratised. These days, there are aso-oke varsity jackets, suits, and slacks. You just need to find the right brand and the right piece for you.

Jorts

This OG fashion staple has returned. Nigerian men just seem unable to get over their jorts. But the look this time isn’t as ill-fitting as it once was, and the length is also closer to the knee. 

Two-piece shorts

Two-piece shirts have gradually become a staple rotation item for many stylish Nigerian men. For a casual breeze into the office on Wednesday, this is a perfect look. It’s also great for a weekend getaway.

ALSO READ: Naija Boys With the Hardest Steeze on the Internet

After that conversation, I knew I had to cover men’s hygiene for men’s health awareness month. The boys are out here neglecting the hygiene of their reproductive organs. If you’ve got a penis and balls, here’s a guide on how to keep them in tip-top shape.

Wash up

Don’t just splash water on your phallus and jump out of the bathroom. Dedicate some time to gently washing the nooks and crannies. Get all that build-up of sweat and urine out of the way with water and mild soap.

Pat it dry after every bath

Ever pulled off your boxers after a long day and shuddered at the smell that hit your nostrils? It’s probably because you didn’t clean up properly after bathing. It’s super important you pat everywhere dry. Personally, I spread out in front of a standing fan for a few minutes before putting on underwear.

Rinse off after every pee

This is a common practice among Muslim men, but everyone should do it. After every pee, shake your junk to get all the excess urine out and rinse off with water. This is the easiest way to avoid smelling off and having urine stains on your underwear.

Shave

Listen, I’ve never known a time when it was cool to leave a clump of pubic hair hovering over your dick. Grab a tube of hair removal cream and scrape that stuff off. A low trim is preferable since hair also prevents against STIs. If you can, reach for the hair around the anus too. I hear some barbers offer this as a service.

Don’t repeat boxers

Many men are guilty of repeating underwear. That’s bad business for your odogwu and sons, bro. The ideal thing to do is wash your boxers after every use and wear a fresh pair daily.

Stick to cotton boxers

Yes, you prefer spandex boxers and hot pants because they help you hide random erections in public. But do you know they may be doing more harm than good because they trap air? Cotton underwear does a better job at keeping the air circulating down there. Basically, they let the balls breathe.

Avoid hot water

I know you’re tempted to bathe with piping hot water when it’s cold, but that’s bad business for your penis and balls. Hot water can cause irritation. Also, since the testicles need to be cooler than body temperature to function properly, hot water can overheat them and affect sperm production.

Clean the foreskin

Not all men have a foreskin, but if you’ve got one, you’ll need to raise it up and clean it properly whenever you bathe. Smegma—a thick, cheesy-looking secretion—builds up under the foreskin when left unwashed. The smell is unpleasant, and if it’s left unattended, it can also cause redness, itching, and swelling.

Powder it up

Things get real messy down there during the hot season. Air gets trapped in your cotton underwear, and all that sweat makes it annoyingly sticky. One way out? Apply a generous dab of powder in the corners of your private parts. It keeps the moisture in check and helps you feel dry.

Always look in the mirror

Yup, you should always have routine checks where you grab a mirror and see what’s going on down there. Look out for bumps on your ball sack and groin area. If anything looks off, go to the hospital ASAP.

Read this next: 7 Nigerian Men Confess Their Biggest Big Dick Struggles

The legendary 8-in-1 body wash

Nigerian men would rather save the money and energy required to own and apply eight different products to have one magic bottle to do it all.

Pink lip balm

We all know pink lips are synonymous with looking good in Nigeria. Apart from the confidence boost from your fellow men when they say, “See as you fresh, guy,” women find it attractive. It’s a win-win situation.

Petroleum jelly

This is basically the 8-in-1 body wash for skincare. Name a better all-rounder. It can replace hair cream, body cream AND lip balm, and that’s why it’s a winner for Nigerian men. 

Perfume oil

Nigerian men and their perfume oil? They love their appearances, but when they smell better than their good looks, they reach their final forms.

Beard oil

Grooming is all that differentiates an unkempt man from a member of the beard gang. Buy a man some beard oil today, and he’ll rub it up and want to step out in a second. Why? Fresh beard, new flex.

Shaving stick

If there’s an inanimate object that Nigerian men have an intimate relationship with, it’s shaving sticks. When they need a quick shave for an impromptu outing, or they’re expecting a sneaky link, it delivers faster than their barbers. But it has to be a good one, like BIC Flex 2, for extra smoothness.

Guess who has decided to pave the way for Nigerian men in the grooming and self-care space? Read more about how BIC Encourages Self-Care and Confidence in Nigerian Men.

BIC, a world leader in stationery, lighters, and shavers, has recently launched its innovative grooming product for men in Nigeria. Flex 2 comes to the market after its tremendous success in various areas globally and in the region. The newly launched product aims to equip men with the necessary tools to embrace their individuality and be confident in their own skin.

Joining a line of optimal products in BIC’s Blade Excellence category, Flex 2 is crafted with precision and sophistication to deliver a smooth, seamless shave for today’s man. The dual, open blade design ensures easy rinsing and hygienic shaving with every use. The shaver’s pivoting head adapts seamlessly to the unique contours of each face, delivering a flawlessly smooth and comfortable shave. Flex 2 is enriched with a refreshing essence of aloe vera and vitamin C, nourishing the skin with each stroke.

Speaking on the product’s launch, Adeyemi Ojo, Head of Business Development at BIC Nigeria said: “We are committed to delivering innovation to our consumers, living up to our vision of bringing simplicity and joy to everyday life. Our newly launched Flex 2 shaver elevates men’s shaving experience, while promoting self-confidence. We thrive to continuously bring the best to our consumers and are confident that Flex 2 will gain popularity in the Nigerian market.”

In Nigeria, Flex 2 shavers will be available at retail outlets across the country, sold at NGN 500 (pouch 1) and NGN 1,500 (pouch 3). BIC’s Blade Excellence category hosts a diverse range of products from one to five blades, serving consumers of all ages and genders. To view BIC’s full Blade Excellence range, .

It’s a few weeks to Valentine’s Day and while the relationship people are prepping to steal the show again, it’s important to note that we’ve got fathers and sons, brothers and buddies, and a whole squad of men who deserve to celebrate their bromance on this day too.

I caught up with seven Nigerian men to hear their thoughts on being there for their fellow dudes on the iconic lovers’ day.

From the big bro who paid for his sibling’s cinema date to the dude planning to send an anonymous box to his heartbroken cousin, their stories will have you in varying degrees of “God when?”

Dewunmi *, 31

My elder brother would always buy gifts for my mum on Valentine’s Day. Started right when we were in secondary school. He’d save up his pocket money during the weeks leading up to the 14th. It was really cute. Fast forward to when he got into uni and got more pocket money, he started including me in his plans. He’d buy chocolates, perfumes or food for me and my mum on Valentine’s Day. It went on for some time until it just stopped. I mean, he still buys stuff for both of us, but he doesn’t put as much importance on Valentine’s Day anymore.

Jason*, 25

My cousin just got served breakfast, and I know he’s hurting even though he’s trying not to show it. He’d been with his ex for about three years, and I honestly thought he’d propose soon, but I guess life happens. I’ve watched him celebrate Valentine’s with her in the last three years, so I’ve just been wondering what the day will look like this year. Thankfully, it’s a work day and that might help him get his mind off things, but I also want to do something nice for him. I’m thinking dinner at one of these fancy spots on the Island, or I might just send him an anonymous gift box with a hidden love letter. LMAO. 

Hassan*, 24

I have a WhatsApp group just to keep in touch with some of my friends and be there for each other. We’ve had a lot of wholesome conversations about toxic masculinity and how we should be able to do more for each other as bros. Last Valentine’s, we did a simple exercise in the group where we all sent voice notes saying nice things about each other. We plan to hang out this year sha, but if that’s not possible, we’ll send each other gifts.

Deji*, 29

Our last born started dating in January 2023. Since then, I’ve always thought to myself “Where this boy dey see money to fund relationship?”Ìę But I assumed his girlfriend understood his finances before saying yes. A few weeks to Valentine’s in 2023, I noticed little man was constantly in a mood around the house. He was also coming up with the weirdest money requests for things he had to pay for in school. It didn’t take long to figure out that he was trying to fleece us. So, I confronted him and gave him a pep talk before asking what he needed money for. He then said he wanted to do something for his GF for Valentine’s Day. It wasn’t like I didn’t know; I just wanted him to be free enough to ask. Two days to Val’s Day, I sent him ₩15k for a cinema date. I’m guessing he’s saved up enough for this year, but I still plan to send ₩15k. He doesn’t know this sha.

Tunde*, 40

My birthday is February 14, and it has added some colour to how I approach the date. Growing up, I didn’t make a fuss about my birthday. I was the kid who wanted to stay indoors and enjoy all the good treats with my family. This changed when I got into uni. My friends found it a little too exciting that my birthday falls on Valentine’s Day, so they always made me do something. Even when I tell them I don’t have money, they’d readily contribute and make sure we celebrate. So the tradition sort of stayed with me from uni. Now, my friends know that if every other thing fails on February 14, they can always show up for whatever Tunde* is doing for his birthday. And that’s the main reason why I now anticipate the day. Lots of brotherly love to go around.

Dapo*, 30

My dad celebrates me and my brothers every Valentine’s Day. It’s one of those things he does that makes me want to be a great dad too. I remember him taking my mum, my siblings and me out every Valentine’s Day when we were young. When it fell on a weekday, we missed school. It took me a while to stop seeing February 14 as another public holiday. Now that we’re all older, and some of my siblings are married, we don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day as a family anymore. But one thing I know we’ll always get every February 14th is a text message from my dad saying how much he loves us.

Jerry*, 25

I moved in with my uncle after he lost his wife last year. His kids are abroad, so it’s only him in the house most of the time. I always get the sense that he feels lonely, especially during festive periods. He’s not the type that goes out a lot; he just stays in his study, reading books and newspapers. I wish I could take him out on Val’s Day, but it’s a work day and I’m not sure I’ll have the time. I’ll probably buy something nice for him. Would be nice for him to know someone cares.

READ ALSO: Nigerian Men on Planning Secret Valentine’s Day Treats for the Women in Their Lives

Looking for inspiration from stylish Nigerian men to step up your own game? These are the guys to check out.

Teezee

As one of the founding fathers of AltĂ© music, it isn’t hard to link ‘s fashion style to the culture. He’s not your regular music and record label executive. You’ll only ever catch him in street or athleisure wear, casual clothes or adire pants for that Nigerian flavour.

Alani Gram

is almost always in Yoruba trad, but some days, it’s hats, suits and other comfortable clothes. Still he looks like everyday is summer to him. He recently launched — a unisex fashion brand making vintage YorĂčbĂĄ prints and patterns into the coolest designs and wears. You can be stylishly different like Alani. Do it for the culture and carry on tradition.

Feedy

One of the few guys who rock jerseys better than football players is . Football jerseys have broken into the fashion industry, but many folks haven’t caught on yet. Learn from Feedy AKA TheFeedbackBoy, who rocks football jerseys of all kind, from retro to classic. He’s so cool, he styles the current reigning video director, TG Omori. Feedy’s style community, , is focused on showcasing, selling and promoting vintage soccer jersey products.

TG Omori

Speaking of, if you follow on any of his social accounts, it’s clear to see why he’s one of the most fashionable young men in Nigeria today. Unique sunglasses, cool tops and unusual shoe choices are major components of his style, but he’s also unpredictable.  Aside from his spectacular locs and gold grills, TG’s thick moustache makes him look even more stylish. Everything about him screams, “I’m so cool.” 

Walter Banks

AKA Wacko is a photographer and creative director who’s worked with many Afrobeats A-listers, and his eye for fashionable AF looks is A1. His style hangs between street fashion and AltĂ©.

Faraz

Nothing overboard with ’s steeze but lots of iconic European street and rare Asian fashion releases. He knows how to throw all the simple clothes together and make runway swag out of it. He may appear like a Korean mountain climber on some days, but kids and adults can take inspiration from him any day.

Dwin, the Stoic

wears silky tunics and suits, large clothes only Japanese warlords would wear, fascinating gold earrings and rings like Shabba Ranks. He’s very much royal and relaxed with his style. Out of ten folks, you’d hardly find two who dress like him. 

Ejirhogene

If you want the why-couldn’t-I-think-of-those type of looks in your wardrobe, is who to follow. His style creatively crosses cultures and puts different clothings together to make unique outfits. This guy can rock agbada, durag and school sandals and still be the best dressed in the room. His finesse peaks with cool and unique colour combinations and accessory collections.

READ: The Fashion It-Girls of Naija to Be Inspired By