These seven women share the red flags they saw clearly but chose to look past because sometimes the dick or pussy was just that good.

1. Red Flag: “We had no future”

I met Abdul* in Abuja while visiting my elder sister. I was 25, at an event with her husband. Let’s just say there was a lot of money in that room. I was gossiping with my sister when our eyes met. Was I stunned? Yes. But am I a bad bitch? Also yes. So I looked away. But between you and me, my God was that man fooine.

He would not look away. He was in his babban riga and cap, sipping something, licking his lips at me, smiling infuriatingly when he caught me looking. He approached me that day. A rich, beautiful, sexy man, being very direct, frank, and respectful? I was, of course, still a bit of a bitch, you cannot just be nice to a man, but he had my attention.

I have always had a very healthy sexual appetite. I enjoy having sex as often as I can, with as many people as I want. I love a little bondage, some handcuffs, a rope or two. Nothing hardcore. Just enough to keep things exciting.

Not long after, we spent months having sex nonstop. He would fly me in straight after school and immediately bend me over his desk, bed or wherever. I spent weeks cuming in this man’s houses. I had dated and fucked rich before, but him? He was rich-rich, and trust me, I know rich.

He started talking marriage. I liked him very, very much. I always wanted to be wrapped around him. And he was a sweetheart, incredibly romantic with his gestures and actions. But he was Muslim. I’ve always been Christian. All three of my older sisters are married to Christians. He said he would seek a second wife. And worst of all, I have sickle cell, and I’m always on multiple medications and daily shots. So does he. We both wanted kids. I knew it wasn’t possible, but Lord knows I dragged it out for four more months. It is very hard to give up great sex, and when that comes with money like his? Best believe I ignored the red flags for as long as I could.

— Nancy*, 29

2. Red Flag: “He slept with all my relatives”

I met Ebuka* through my cousin. We were all in our early twenties. She was seeing someone who was an old friend of Ebuka’s, and she had once had the biggest crush on him. But the first time I saw him, it did not matter at all. My cousin’s boyfriend tried to explain that he was a notorious flirt, but I simply didn’t care. 

We started talking, and with every interaction, I wanted him more. He eventually invited me over. He ate me out on his pool table, then proceeded to slow fuck me through multiple orgasms. I was completely hooked after that.

We were never exactly exclusive, always on and off. Once when we were off, it got back to me that the cousin who connected us had sex with him. I was very angry and blocked her out of my life. I was going to do the same to him, but he got me alone. Not long into that argument, his head was between my legs.

He is still one of my best eaters to date, so even though I kept hearing about and catching him with people I knew—my cousin, then a friend, then my sister, then someone I don’t think I should mention—I stayed sleeping with him. He was also, in some ways, there for me emotionally.

We still have great sex. Just not as often.

— Tamara*, 32

3. Red Flag: “He had my mumu button”

We never dated. It was mostly just sex, but there was a connection I struggle to put into words.

I met Dan* at a party when I was 17, my first proper ‘adult’ house party. The host introduced me to his friend Adaora, and she put me under her wing. People kept coming over to say hi. He slid in next to her, wrapped his arm around her, and they talked until we all moved upstairs. I suddenly found myself on a chair while he stood across from me. When we finally stared at each other, he tilted his head and narrowed his eyes at me.

Later, he said he hadn’t seen me until that moment. He had no idea I was ‘that’ pretty. He was awestruck. He was always good with his words. A few days later, I was in his room at 10 p.m. I was a virgin, so we didn’t have sex, but I gave him my very first blowjob, and he went down on me. It was awkward but hot enough to stay with me. Him spooning me to sleep made it pleasant.

I didn’t see him again until two years later, when I was 19, and he was 23. I was still a virgin but less inexperienced. This time, he fucked my mouth in his back garden, and I rode his thigh until I came so hard I didn’t stop vibrating for a full minute, he counted.

I still didn’t understand the hype around sex, but he ate me out again that night, and I have never forgotten it. I writhed and panted as I held his head down and rode the ever-living hell out of his face. We almost crossed that line, but I wasn’t ready. He had always felt dangerous; that night confirmed it. I kept putting off seeing him. I once drove halfway to his place and turned back. We texted and wrote poetry back and forth. Giving in to him felt like it would be addictive and unhealthy.

The first time we finally sex was when I was 23. It was everything you could imagine waiting that long would do. Being touched by him was electrifying. He knew where and how hard to hold me, the best ways to touch me with his fingers, his tongue, and eventually his dick. He knew how to get me to relax enough to take all seven inches of him seamlessly, even wantonly, something that had been difficult with others. He was on top of me, beneath me, and best of all behind me. When he would tie my hands and rub my clit while taking me from behind, it was always a sensory overwhelm in the best ways.

The only bad thing was that I couldn’t stop going to him, even when I was with someone else. We barely spoke in person, but I only wanted to be with him. If he called or texted, I was there. I did not need too many words; our bodies did enough. He became so addictive that I slacked at work and with my friends. All I wanted was him inside me. Eventually, he ghosted me for almost a year, then tried to slide back in my DMs. I had done a lot of repairing in his absence, with myself and the people I loved, so it was a hard pass. But I will not lie: I still touch myself to memories of us, and the thought of going back is one I fight every single day.

— Amira*, 25

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4. Red Flag: “She was aggressive”

Our mums were friends, so on and off, we watched each other grow up. Eventually, she moved with her family to the UK, and we didn’t see each other for maybe 11 years. We met again when we were both 22. She had a girlfriend then, but was still the same, mean, rude, and unnecessarily aggressive. Like a real-life mean girl, she loved fighting and calling people names. She would laugh after saying the worst things, then maybe kiss you.

She reached out when she was in Nigeria and invited me over. One thing led to another, and she was suddenly on top of me, her knees on both sides of my hips, rubbing up and down on me while kissing me senseless. She came all over my fingers in many angles that night. We didn’t really stop. We took breaks, ate in between ‘sessions,’ but between 10 p.m. to when we passed out at 5 a.m., our hands did not stay off each other for longer than 30 minutes.

I am a proud ashawo, so of course I went back over and over again. This woman was hot. An ass that sat perfectly in my hands when I would strap her, beautiful siren eyes that kept me panting beneath her, fucking beautiful tits. It did not matter that she was so aggressive that she was prone to yelling in my face and smacking me upside the head. She was a hitter, yes. She said the worst things, yes. But the sex after? Worth every bit of it.

— Tunde*, 27

5. Red Flag: “She was messy”

I still have sex tapes of her strapping and recording me. This woman has ruined me for others. Whenever I am in bed with anyone of any gender, I have hot flashes of her taking me in doggy, my head between her thighs, the sounds that would come out of her mouth, and most of all, the deep, deep orgasms. Our sex life was literally perfect, but she was messy.

She loved to pick unnecessary fights, and whenever we would have threesomes, she would request, she had a habit of ignoring me completely while over-delivering to our third, then acting as if none of it mattered after. Sometimes she’d leave me on read for months, then come ask to see me. Like an ode, I always said yes. The sex was that good, and no one else hit it quite like her.

It didn’t matter that she had a girlfriend; she was hiding this from them. It didn’t matter that she would act jealous of my other partners. I am poly. It didn’t matter that she told me it is impossible to be poly and I don’t know what I’m saying, and that she is mono and can only be with one woman, while she strapped both her girlfriend and me. As long as she had sex with me, I decided that for now, this would do.

— Kristin*, 28

6. Red Flag: “He was a cheater”

I ignored too many red flags, the greatest being his infidelity. For the first time, I found someone I was sexually compatible with. I couldn’t see clearly anymore. I knew he had other girls apart from me, but I stuck around because I actually enjoyed having sex with him more than any other person I’ve been with. There wasn’t any connection from me towards him apart from when we had sex, and it just kept getting better. He was good in bed.

When he cheated multiple times, I still wanted to stay because the sex was great. I guess I was dickmatized. But at this point in my life, I can’t deal with that mediocrity anymore. That’s all I’m going to say.

— Valerie*, 27

7. Red Flag: “We worked together”

We met at GT, and I took them home that night. The sex was hot. Very, very hot. I did not know they would be my co-worker until the week after. I had just gotten the job, and finding out was a little rattling. I was not the type to date a co-worker. I could not deal with the gossip. But they were discreet and incessant. They had to have me. I had to have them.

It became a secret we skirted around at work. Sometimes we would fuck in my car during my breaks. I only went in twice a week, and I looked forward to it. I never wanted to stop, but besides work getting in the way sometimes, they were trans and constantly said they never did anything with cis people. It kept happening more and more often after we fucked that I can’t lie, it started bothering me a lot. But it was hard to stop, so I haven’t.

— Deinyefa*, 24

Also Read: My Sister Gave ₦10 Million to Church Members While Our Family Starved

We asked a few Nigerians to tell us the one big red flag they ignored in their relationships, from controlling partners to compulsive liars. Some stayed longer than they should have, while others reached a breaking point and walked away. 

Here are their stories.

“He has a tendency to be controlling.” —Temilade* (28), F

Temilade has been in a relationship for three years. The biggest issue she overlooks is her boyfriend’s desire to control her actions.

“It started small. He wanted me to block a guy on Instagram who was toasting me. I didn’t think it was a big deal; I thought he just wanted proof that I was with him for real. But since then, he’s been trying to control my movement and who I speak to. Sometimes he’ll say things like, ‘I don’t think you should travel home this weekend, you can go next weekend instead,’ or “That girl is too online, you shouldn’t be friends with her.’ 

If I go against what he says, we end up fighting. I’m a bit worried about it, but aside from that, he’s the perfect boyfriend. So I’m willing to go along with him. I just wish we didn’t fight every time I did something other than what he says.”

“She didn’t like any of my friends.” — Damola* (37), M

Damola thought he had found the love of his life until he ran into a big issue: she didn’t like any of his friends and wanted him to cut them off.

“I started dating an ex of mine when we were in 300L. When we first started dating, she mentioned not liking my friends because they were unserious. To be fair, this was true at the time, but we were still kids. After school, we started to mature and settle down into our adult lives. I was happy with her, but she would always complain if I wanted to hang out with my friends or visit them. 

She eventually gave me an ultimatum to cut all of them off or forfeit our relationship. I hated that and chose to leave the relationship. I don’t think it would have been an issue if it stopped at disliking them, but trying to make me cut off my closest friends was the sign I needed to leave.”

“He was constantly lying” — Timi* (26), F

Timi tried to ignore the fact that her ex-boyfriend told white lies, until she simply couldn’t ignore it anymore.

“I don’t know how to stress that he was always lying. Unprovoked too. He would lie about everything. In fact, if he ever said the sky was blue, I’d go outside to double-check.

At first, I thought it was just a minor issue. If we were going to Ikeja for lunch and someone asked where he was, he’d say he was in Lekki. He said he did it because people were always trying to get information about him, and I believed him at first. 

But as our relationship went on, I began to worry about what lies he was telling me. He tried to reassure me that he was always honest with me, but I have seen that boy lie to his mother’s face. I couldn’t trust him, so I walked away.”

“He was a people pleaser.” — Demi* (27), F

Demi tried to overlook the fact that her ex liked to bend over backwards for everyone, but one incident made her see she couldn’t handle his people pleasing.

“My ex was one of the sweetest men I have ever known, but he was a people pleaser. I think it had a bit to do with his upbringing — his mum was very overbearing. If even one person disagreed with something he wanted to do, he would start to doubt himself, and he’d most likely change his mind about it. He was obsessed with how people perceived him and his actions.

One day, a friend asked him for a large amount of money he didn’t have. Instead of telling his friend he didn’t have it, he took out a loan to give him the money. When he told me, I knew that the relationship couldn’t go far. He was too willing to do anything to maintain a certain image.”

“He is aggressive to everyone except me.” — Yetunde* (56), F

Yetunde thinks her husband’s personality is too abrasive, but she ignores it as much as she can because he has always been kind to her.

“I’ve been married for 28 years, and by far my biggest issue with my husband is his personality. He’s always spoiling for a fight and gets into arguments with strangers easily. 

It’s very annoying, but I’ve managed it because he has never done that with me. He has never raised his voice or threatened me; he is always gentle and sweet. But even with our children, he’s irritable and touchy. It’s his biggest flaw. 

I’ve tried talking to him and praying for him, but he hasn’t changed at all. I don’t like going on car rides with him because it almost always ends with him yelling obscenities at another driver on the road.”

“She broke things when she was angry” — Tunde* (35), M

Tunde’s ex was a sweet, kind babe until she flew into a rage. Then she started to throw things and cause issues for them.

“I really liked my ex. I was even hoping we would settle down. But I had to quit the relationship because of her anger issues. She worked at a bank and was one of the sweetest and kindest people I knew, but when she got angry, all bets were off.

Once, she got mad at a server when we were out at a bar and threw my bottle of beer at her. I thought it was a one-off, but I started to notice that she did it often. Even if it was a work thing that upset her, she’d carry the closest thing to her and throw it hard against a wall.

It started to worry me after a while because what if she threw something at me one day after we married? I jejely carried myself and left that relationship.”

“He was obsessed with me.” — Derin* (28), F

Derin thought her ex really liked her until she noticed it was bordering on the unhealthy side of things.

“At first, I thought it was cute. Before he asked me out, he told me he had been following me around the campus for a while. I was in my final year when we started dating. He would walk me to class, hang out with me after, just normal boyfriend stuff. Then, when I told him I’d be going abroad for my Master’s, he started acting weird. 

If I didn’t reply to his texts immediately, he would say he was sad and would hurt himself. As the date of my departure came closer, he started saying he’d kill himself if I broke up with him. It got too much for me, so a few weeks before I left, I told his family what he had been saying. 

They ended up taking him for a mental health intervention. It was scary. It’s made me a bit wary of letting new people into my life.”

READ NEXT: “I Got Jealous When My Best Friend Started Dating My Crush” — Nigerians Share How They Navigate Jealousy In Friendships

The ones who eat blended beans

It’s gbegiri. We’re talking about gbegiri. Anybody who eats it with amala, or as a spread for bread, doesn’t love themself and can never love you, so just don’t do it.

The hunger strikers 

These ones go on self-imposed hunger strikes for no reason. They won’t eat all day but will start complaining about a terrible headache between 3 p.m. and 5 p.m. They’re stubborn and won’t hear anything you say, so just leave them to their fate and walk away.

People who eat okpa 

Anybody who can sit down and eat this wannabe moimoi that plays around with the possibility of choking you clearly likes living on the edge and doesn’t care for their safety. Run for your life!

Gym heads 

We’re talking about the ones who go to the house of sweat and machines more than three times a week. They won’t let you rest because you’d either be sharing your partner with a building or they’d spend the five minutes a week they’ve carved out for you trying to talk you into working out like it’s a money-doubling pyramid scheme.

Creatives

Artistes, musicians, and we can’t believe we’re about to say this, but writers. Anywhere you see them, take off your shoes and run because they will use you as a muse. You will go through some serious character development; don’t say ��è��Ƶ did nothing for you.

Lawyers

You’d never win an argument with them, but that’s not even the important part. You and everyone else would have to see your partner in a dirty blonde ill-laid wig that won’t even be laid properly and a big- ass black nightgown, calling another human being “my lord”. We need you to take a step back and think about it. Can you take it?

Your landlord, or anyone they know

Unless you want to go through all the stress of finding a new place and paying all those new fees, you better take your eyes off your landlord and anyone they bring around.

The ones who have more than 40 followers on  X 

Do you really want to be with someone who shares their thoughts with more than 40 people whenever they post on X? You should be enough. They shouldn’t want so many other people to know what’s on their mind all the time.

While these actions won’t stop Nigerians from making their japa plans, it’s important to flag some countries you should probably cross off your destination lists. These countries are either historically hostile to Nigerians with inhumane treatments or have shown us shege in recent times.

Consider this a travel advisory.

United Arab Emirates (UAE)

The United Arab Emirates (UAE) used to be the go-to spot for premium enjoyment for Nigerians, but they appear to be sick of hosting Nigerians these days. On October 21, 2022, the UAE and even canceled already submitted applications without refunding applicants.

When a Nigerian raised alarm about the maltreatment of other Nigerians trying to enter the country in August 2022, the UAE jailed her for . 

No one really knows UAE’s reasons for the visa ban so it’s best for Nigerians to find another vacation hotspot.

ALSO READ: Why Nigeria’s Relationship With the UAE Is Hitting the Rocks

Libya

In 2018, the that detailed the horrors Nigerians face in Libya — ranging from unlawful killings to gang rape, arbitrary detention, torture, unpaid wages, slavery, human trafficking, racism, and xenophobia. 

Between April 2017 and February 2022, . So if anyone ever suggests Libya as a japa option, run, please.

Indonesia

In March 2022, Nigeria’s House of Representatives moved to n of the human rights of Nigerians in Indonesia after Arinze Igweike died in the custody of immigration officials. The officials arrested him with two other Nigerians and brutalized them until he died.

In August 2021, Indonesian officials were filmed assaulting Abdulrahman Ibrahim, a Nigerian consular officer based in Jakarta. , they held him down inside a vehicle while he begged for air as he couldn’t breathe. Indonesia but the incident put the spotlight on how the treatment of Nigerians in Indonesia could be better.

South Africa

In September 2020, thousands of South Africans with plaques and banners, demanding that Nigerians and other foreigners leave their country.

The protesters claimed foreigners are taking away their jobs and committing crimes — the same narratives used to attack foreigners in the past.

[Image source: Ewn]

In August 2022, the Nigerian High Commission to South Africa on foreign nationals due to the recent utterances of a group, ‘’Operation Dudula”. As a Nigerian, to live in South Africa is to always dread the next wave of xenophobia.

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The reality of what’s happening to Nigerians in India isn’t always the song and dance you see in Bollywood movies. In 2021, a Nigerian activist in New Delhi — ranging from illegal experimentation for COVID-19 vaccines to the death of a 43-year-old Nigerian, Leohand Lyeanyi after a police officer allegedly assaulted him.

In October 2022, after Indian students beat and abused them on the football field and in their hostel.

Northern Cyprus

The Nigerian government has flagged Northern Cyprus many times as hostile to Nigerians. At least 100 Nigerian students studying there died under questionable circumstances but nothing has been done to address their cases.

What’s worse about Northern Cyprus is it’s not a country recognized by anyone in the world other than Turkey. This means the Nigerian government can’t have direct diplomatic engagements with them to help Nigerians when they run into trouble there.

The government’s message is clear: whatever happens in Northern Cyprus, you’re on your own.

Do you know of any more countries we missed that should be red flags for Nigerians? Let us know.

ALSO READ: Why You Should (Probably) Remove Northern Cyprus From Your Japa List

Slippers

You’re ready to run away from any minor problem. People who wear slippers are the epitome of “I didn’t come to this world to kill myself”. They’d dust their slippers and run if you stress them too much. It’s a red flag because sometimes, a straightforward conversation would solve what you’re running away from. 

Sneakers

You think dating is too expensive because you spend all your money on shoes. , but you see that ₦75k shoe? Fair price. 

Heels 

A little cheating here and there, but that’s all there is. The problem is you like how your shoes sound as you’re moving from one partner to the other. The koin koin sound gets to your head a lot. 

RELATED: QUIZ: How Many Relationship Red Flags Do You Have? 

Slides 

People who wear slides are the same as slippers wearers, but they’ll be annoyed if you call their slides slippers. If slides are your favourite type of shoes, you’re prone to gaslighting your partner. 

Loafers 

You’re the complete opposite of the sneakers people. You think money solves all the problems. A little toxicity here and there, but it can all be solved with dollars. You’re wrong sha because people just want communication, but that’s not your business. 

Boots 

Emotionally unavailable is your middle name, and it’s because the boots are stopping blood flow to your heart. Remove them, let your feet touch grass and allow yourself to feel love. Abi, ki lo feel? 

RELATED: QUIZ: How Red Is Your Flag? 

Crocs

You don’t take anything seriously. Everything about your relationship is a big joke to you, and your partners are not happy about that. Relationships are work, but that’s not your vibe. 

Sandals

You put people’s needs above your own and get hurt. Just because you’re wearing Jesus’ sandals doesn’t mean you have to act like him. Your “selflessness” is why you can’t hear certain songs without breaking down in Ebeano. 

Barefoot

If you hate any form of footwear so much you’d rather go barefoot, then you don’t just have a red flag, you have a red blanket. You write a script for how relationships should go without factoring in what the person you’re dating is like. Your way or nobody else’s  and it’s giving very much delusional. 

RELATED: 9 Green Flags to Look Out For in a Partner

Now, they’re sharing their experiences. 

“My girl flirting with other guys keeps me on my toes” 

— Aliyu, 30 

When I met my girlfriend, she was with another man. The way she kept flirting with me and laughing, I thought she was single. Long story short, I “stole” her from the other guy. Now that we’re together, she’s constantly flirting with every bearded guy she meets but honestly, it’s not a problem for me. 

I thrive well in the face of competition. Knowing I’m dating a girl who can leave me anytime has put me on my toes. From the sex to the dates and how I treat her, I’m always looking to impress my girlfriend. We’ve been together for three years, so I guess it’s working. 

“I’m learning to live with my girl’s shitty music taste” 

— Daniel, 25

My girlfriend’s favourite song is . I don’t think I’ve met anyone with a worse taste in music than her. Bad music might not look like a red flag to other people, but music is an important part of my life — it’s how I try to figure out the world. 

I’ve tried to put her on to good music, but she’s set in her ways, and now I have to spend the rest of my life listening to Pitbull and Paris Hilton. 

“I think my girlfriend has a spiritual problem”

— Fidelis, 28 

There’s a popular trope about women never knowing what they want to eat, but my girlfriend is the worst. On our first date, this babe spent about 30 minutes with the waiter trying to figure out what she wanted to order. After all the serenre, she still ate from my plate. Ma’am, you’re just getting to know me!

I ignored that red flag, and since we started dating, I don’t think this babe has confidently opened her mouth to order food. These days I order for both of us. If she doesn’t like it, she can soak garri or make Indomie. 

RECOMMENDED: 9 Red Flags Women Absolutely Hate

“I’m dating someone obsessed with Instagram likes”

— Tobi, 39 

I should’ve figured out my girlfriend was obsessed with social media when she deleted a picture we took together because of “lack of engagement”. As someone who generally doesn’t care for social media, I’ve always wondered why she went through so much trouble to win people’s approval, especially when she hasn’t met most of them. 

We had a big fight about it and broke up about a year ago, but I realised my life without her was like eating plain white rice without any sauce. We’re back together, and I’m slowly learning to adapt to my life with her. 

“My girlfriend is a thief, but I’m a thief too, so it’s fair” 

— Hakeem, 24

The first time I invited my girlfriend over to spend the night, she stole my hoodie and sweatpants. I didn’t take it seriously at the time because I know stealing men’s clothes is what women do. But every time this babe comes, she always takes one shirts — even my trousers! The annoying thing is, she doesn’t allow me to wear my own clothes after she’s worn them. 

Because I refuse to be cheated, I’ve started using her skincare products too. If you can steal my Fear of God hoodie, I will use your Skinceutical Vitamin C face serum as a hand cream. The bible says an eye for an eye. 

“My girlfriend is passive-aggressive” 

— Ikenna, 33  

The biggest problem in my relationship is that my girlfriend and I never fight. We don’t even argue. Whenever something goes wrong, she gives me the silent treatment. It has been like that since we started dating, but I thought it was because she didn’t know me then. Eight months into our relationship now and nothing has changed. 

I love her so much, and I’ve spoken to her about seeing a therapist. Hopefully, she agrees. I don’t know how long I can use my love for her as a blanket over this huge character flaw. 

ALSO READ: 4 People Tell Us About the Red Flag That Made Them End Their Relationships

1. This guy that assigns red flags according to their geographical location

2. Where is the lie?

3. This follows logic

4. Where is the lie?.

5. In fact, if she’s a tech sis

6. This person has been hurt before because this is too specific

7. Somebody cannot appreciate you privately again?

8. This guy has somebody in mind, I’m sure.

9. Hmmm.

10. This guy has obviously been tasting too much fuel.

11. Clear road for my king.

12. These women don’t have fear of God.

13. Abuja men were found in the mud.

14. Our hand is not in this one oh

15. If you know, you know.

16. Many people are on this table

17. One drag, several fall

18. No matter the event, Arsenal fans must collect drag

19. Then we have Pop Breeze over here

20. We’re not saying it’s true but…

21. If you want to steal, just say so.

22. Honourable mention

23. Again, run from tech sis.

1. When he doesn’t buy you food when you say you’ve not eaten 

Do we need to tell you first? Which brings us to the next point. 

2. Not knowing what we want before we say it

If you are not ready to be a mind reader, why are you here? 

3. Not saying thank you after sex

In fact, you should also serve us breakfast in bed. 

4. Not calling you mummy during sex

It’s see-finish that causes things like this sha. It’s because we smile with you too much. 

5. Using your skincare products

Sacrilege! 

6. Not letting you steal his hoodie 

This one is also unforgivable and if you are dating anyone like this, please run. 

7. Sleeping before you 

If you sleep, what do you expect me to do with my time? Why do you think you are here? 

8. Sleeping with his back turned to you 

I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. 

9. Not letting you eat his food even though you people ordered the same thing 

Just tell me you hate me, okay?